5 Tiny Habits Of Couples Who Are Also Best Friends
How to maintain a friendship and a romance simultaneously.
Your friendship with your significant other affects every part of your relationship, including intimacy. Couples with strong friendships have better relationships. This is true for both men and women. People tend to separate the idea of being in a relationship from friendship. But when you think about it, don't you have fun with your best friends? Don't you want to have fun in your relationship?
Having fun together is vital in any relationship, whether you are intimate or not. And a close friendship is one of the signs of a healthy relationship. When you treat your partner like your BFF, you see your relationship change and grow in healthy ways. Friends stay together during tough times — this can also be true for a relationship. The best way to improve the intimacy in your relationship is to work on the friendship.
Here are 5 tiny habits of couples who are also best friends:
1. They express their appreciation for their partner regularly.
Appreciation is easy to forget when you've been in a relationship for a while. Write down your appreciation on a piece of paper and stick it on the mirror, text your partner during the day, or tell them when you are departing in the morning. It can be something as simple as "I appreciate your smile."
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2. They say "thank you" regularly.
Healthy relationships have gratitude. So, tell your partner what you are thankful for. For example, tell your partner you are thankful they are in your life, that they brighten up your day, and that you love to see them at the end of the day.
3. They think fondly of their partner while they're apart.
Think positive thoughts of one another while away from one another. Think of a fun date you recently went on or send positive thoughts to your partner. When you see each other at the end of the day, this will make a world of difference.
4. They use 'I' statements.
These statements make your partner feel criticized and isolated in the relationship. So, learn to rephrase your 'you' statements. Tell your partner what you need. For example, say, "I need you to play a game with the family tonight."
5. They learn to receive their partner's bids.
Based on the Gottman study, couples are always making bids toward one another. This can be eye contact, a smile, humor, etc. It's critical to respond to your partner's bids. Learn what your partner's bids are and make a genuine effort to respond positively.
When you have a strong friendship, it will make it easier to get through the tough times. Think of a couple you know who has a good relationship. They have fun together and have a good friendship. There are many opinions about whether or not friends can be lovers. (I'm not talking about friends with benefits, either.) However, research by the Gottman Institute found that if you want a lasting relationship, you need to work on the friendship.
If your significant other is your best friend, your relationship may just last forever.
Lianne Avila is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a practice in San Mateo, CA. Her work has been featured in Psych Central, BRIDES, and Prevention.