Couples Who Want To Stay Married Do 5 Specific Things Every Day
Small daily habits make a big marital difference over time.
Monkey Business Images | Canva Pro Entering a relationship is like starting a long-term investment for retirement. You build a good and strong marriage over time. It's the small deposits that make a big difference over the years. If you aren't making a lot of small deposits, then making one big deposit won't make any difference. It may hurt your relationship in the long run. If you make too many withdrawals, you will end up overdrawn which can cause the relationship to end.
This doesn't mean you count. Counting is one of the worst things you can do in a relationship. This means you make genuine deposits into your relationship and take a genuine interest in your partner to show your love.
Couples who want to stay married do 5 specific things every single day, according to psychology:
1. Kiss
This is very simple but it's easy to get away from when you're in a long-term relationship. Kiss for at least six and a half seconds, twice a day. This is not a long time. Research shows that kissing frequency is linked to relationship satisfaction.
When you kiss for six and a half seconds, things in the brain begin to change. Prepare for the kiss like you did in the beginning, which means having a mint on the way home from work. Your partner will appreciate this.
2. Know at least one important thing about your partner's day before parting in the morning
It's important to talk to one another before leaving. Take a genuine interest in your partner's work, friends, and family. Stay positive, even if you don't agree with your partner.
Let your partner know that you're rooting for them when they give their next pitch to the big boss. Be excited when your partner tells you that they're having lunch with some friends they haven't seen in a while. You want your partner to feel that you're on their side, and open, clear communication will help with that.
3. Think fondly of your partner when you are not with them
It's easy to think of all the things your partner hasn't done for you, or what you don't like about your partner. Even if you aren't saying this to your partner, this sets the tone for the relationship. You will come across as having an attitude.
This will put your partner on the defense. Instead, think of how wonderful that last kiss was. Think of when they helped out around the house, without you having to ask. This list is endless, so add your own.
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4. Be appreciative of one another
This is one of those simple deposits that we often forget after being married for a while. Tell your partner how much you appreciate them.
Tell them you appreciate their smile and can't wait to see them after a long day at work. Make sure to let your partner know how much you appreciate that they listened to you while you vented about your job last night.
I know life can be stressful with work, house, and children. But, don't forget your partner in the process. Showing appreciation doesn't take much time, and it makes a big difference.
5. Plan a weekly date
You and your partner must have time for yourselves, without any distractions. This means shutting off all electronic devices.
Research indicates that having weekly dates is significantly important for maintaining a healthy relationship, as it promotes better communication, increased satisfaction, stronger commitment, and higher overall relationship quality.
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You can go out to your favorite restaurant, go for a hike, a baseball game, or have a date night at home (just make sure the children aren't around). Prepare for the date the way you did when you first met. Talk about your relationship, ask questions, and listen with interest and enthusiasm.
By doing this, you are prioritizing your relationship and setting a positive tone. The investment will pay off.
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She is dedicated to helping couples and has completed Levels 1, 2, and 3 at The Gottman Institute.