Woman’s Husband Is Having Sleepovers At His Ex-Girlfriend’s House But He Says They’re ‘Just Friends’
She isn't sure about the future of her marriage.
DimaBerlin / Shutterstock A woman is being told she may need to divorce her husband after revealing what he's been doing in his spare time.
In a TikTok video, a woman named Kathy called into "The Dave Ramsey Show" and asked for financial advice after discovering that her husband was spending quite a lot of time with someone from his past.
She confessed her husband was having sleepovers at his ex-girlfriend's house but claimed they were 'just friends.'
Kathy confessed to Ramsey that she and her husband of 18 years were having relationship problems because he was having sleepovers and staying in contact with his ex-girlfriend. When asked if she was thinking of leaving the relationship altogether, she admitted that it was all up to her husband.
She explained that her husband and his ex-girlfriend from 25 years ago were "just friends," according to him, and that she was told about their arrangement by her husband. "He reconnected with her. I don't know if he's going through a mid-life crisis. I don't know what's going on," she told Ramsey.
In response, Ramsey encouraged Kathy to sign up for couples counseling with her husband because, at her core, she truly believed that her husband was cheating on her with his ex-girlfriend.
"Adults don't do sleepovers with people they're not married to," he told Kathy. "That's just not acceptable behavior and the fact that he would try to play it off ... is unbelievable. I'm trying to be kind because you're hurting, but you have to be going, this is nuts. So, you need somebody outside to say, this is nuts. This is nuts, I just said it, okay?" Ramsey continued.
When he asked Kathy if she had a marriage counselor in her corner who was recommended by someone who could help her and her husband through his difficult time and facilitate the equally difficult conversations they needed to have, she confirmed that she did but her husband was refusing to go.
She claimed that her husband feels like if he goes, he'll be "ganged up on," which Ramsey confirmed would be inevitable due to his actions. "He deserves it because he's completely out of line," Ramsey said.
He advised her to see both a good marriage counselor and a divorce attorney.
He assured Kathy that this advice didn't come because he was 100% sure she would be getting a divorce, but just in case.
"You need to have the information to know what it looks like," he said. "Because Information in the middle of high-stress scenarios, which you're in, helps you have the power to make good decisions."
Kathy explained that she'd called a lawyer but lives in a fifty-fifty state. That means it doesn't matter on what grounds the two of them divorce, all of their assets will be split evenly. She shared that between the two of them, she was the one who did all of the budgeting and the planning of their finances.
"If this is the track he decides to go on, and if it ends your marriage, I would make that cost him," Ramsey advised. "He's gonna give up some stuff in order for you to make this quick. I would drag it out and make it painful for a while."
Ramsey maintained that Kathy needed someone in her corner to help her through this difficult situation with her husband. "I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I just want to validate some of those things that you're thinking are absolutely true."
Whether or not her husband is cheating on her, there is a breach of trust there and for her own well-being, she should think about if her happiness is even still in the marriage.
It can be difficult to take those first few steps in leaving someone that you once thought you'd spend the rest of your future with, but at the end of the day, if any relationship is toxic and no longer serving you, the best thing to do is leave with your head held high.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.