8 Little Life Gems You Only Learn After Getting Your Heart Broken
Heartbreak is a painful but necessary learning process.
AleksandarNakic, Jeffrey Czum | Canva By Laura Lifshitz
Have you ever seen a teenager lose his or her first love? Or maybe you've seen someone's marriage fall apart? Maybe you've seen someone left at the altar?
Heartbreak is a wicked, cruel, and unfair thing, but it's a universal feeling. No one skates by in life without at least one broken heart, but the truth is you wouldn't really know what love is without having your heart be pounded, broken, and demolished, now would you?
As much as heartache can take days, weeks, months, and sometimes (although this is super unhealthy) years to get over, it teaches us so much. Heartache is tough, but it is a moment in time in which you can grow. Taking your tears, sleepless nights, and stomachaches and turning them into ways to better understand your relationships and yourself is where heartache becomes its most powerful.
Take it from someone who is no stranger to heartache, I promise: you become a better and stronger version of yourself after you've gone through it. Keep reading for eight life lessons you can only learn from getting your heart broken.
Here are 8 little life gems you only learn after getting your heart broken:
1. Your happiness depends on Y-O-U
At some point, after you've sniffled and isolated yourself for some time, you realize you need to pick yourself up again because as much as your friends and family will try, they can't do it for you.
Heartache teaches you that you have to be able to make yourself happy — no one else can do that for you.
2. It's okay to ask for help
Asking for help is hard, but heartache is something that everyone can relate to. It's a universal injustice that singers have been making music about for ages.
A tough breakup or divorce is an "optimal" time to create great support systems for yourself and learn how to say, I need help, support, or hey, even a hug.
3. Time heals all
The saying goes that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Sometimes we don't know that a person comes in for just a season of our lives . . . or a reason. But ultimately, heartache teaches us that not everything can, should, or will last forever, and it hurts to know this. But knowing and accepting this, helps us get through the tough times of life.
4. You learn to let go
Sometimes, no matter what you do, some love cannot be saved. Heartbreak teaches you that sometimes, you have to "lose." You have to let go in order to heal. It's not a failure to do so either, but instead, a success.
5. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else
After the crying is done and the sad songs are all played out, you stand strong again. Sure, you might be a little wobbly at first, but you grow into yourself a little more every day that passes. You start to appreciate yourself for who you are, what you need, and where you're going next.
6. When life knocks you down, you get back up
There's a reason the saying "fake it until you make it" is a thing. You might feel like crawling under a rock for the next 10 years after a breakup or divorce, but you put on your good dress and your favorite lipstick and move forward, even if you're hurting inside.
7. Sometimes you have to take a good, long look in the mirror
A breakup or divorce will teach you a lot about yourself. Some of it you won't like. Some of it will require you to think long and hard, and even make some changes. Either way, heartbreak shows you the good, bad, and ugly sides of you.
8. You learn how to find the silver lining in situations
You might not smile too often, but you'll notice little things that make you happy while you deal with the heartache of a lifetime. Suddenly, you'll realize that it's the little things that make a big difference. You'll learn to find silver linings in dark clouds, and this is a great life tool, no matter how you look at it.
Laura Lifshitz is a former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate currently writing about divorce, intimacy, women’s issues, fitness, parenting, and marriage. Her work has been featured on YourTango, New York Times, DivorceForce, Women’s Health, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, and more.