Mom Argues That The 'Unique Mother/Son Bond' People Talk About Cannot Be As 'Special' As What She Has With Her Daughter
Her argument brought attention to the toxicity of terms like "boy mom" and "girl dad."
Yuganov Konstantin / Shutterstock There’s a lot of talk these days about “boy moms” and “girl dads.” These terms suggest that certain genders have specific parents they bond with more closely.
One mother asked if that could possibly be true.
A mom asked other moms if there really is such a thing as a strong bond between mothers and sons when she feels so close to her daughter.
A mother posted to the Mommit community on Reddit to determine if the “unique mother/son bond” she had heard so much about was real.
She asked parents who have children of both genders to respond and share their thoughts on the issue. The debate sprang from the mother’s special relationship with her daughter. “Is there really such [a] thing as … the unique ‘mother/son’ bond?” she asked. “If so — how would you describe it versus [the] mother/daughter bond?”
The mom explained, “I love my daughter so much,” she stated. “I feel spiritually connected to her. She’s super tactile and loving. She passionately tells me she loves [me] more than a few times every day and she’s ten years old!”
“I really don’t get how a son can be more loving or the bond more ‘special’ than what I already have,” she concluded.
Many commenters pointed out that labels like “boy mom” can be harmful.
Fellow Reddit users told this mom that there really is no such thing as “boy moms” and “girl dads” or the like. There are only parents who love and support their children.
“I have one boy and one girl,” a mom responded. “There’s no difference. The ‘boy mom’ and ‘girl mom’ crowds are making it super weird and gross. Love your kids, people.”
“We show our son and daughter the same attention/love … They are equally as loving [and] affectionate … My husband and I have strong individual bonds with each kid!” another mom shared.
A third mom chimed in and said, “I have one boy and one girl, and absolutely no difference in our bond. Sure, we may do different activities together, but the love between us is the same. [In my opinion] the ferocious ‘boy mom’ dialogue on social media is disturbing.”
Labels like ‘boy mom’ or ‘girl dad’ can be toxic.
While it’s fine to refer to yourself as a “boy mom,” “girl dad,” or something else if you’re simply describing your children, becoming a part of the culture of each can be dangerous.
USA Today pointed out, “A ‘boy mom’ is something of a negative character archetype oft-recognized on the internet. The term itself is slang to refer to a specific kind of parent who is perceived as being overly fixated on their male children, often to the detriment of other female children or people in their lives.”
By this definition, it’s evident that calling yourself a certain type of mom or dad can imply that you are obsessed with only some, or possibly one, of your children.
USA Today went on to say, “A mother may be called a ‘boy mom’ if she talks about or displays signs of favoring her male children over her female children, expresses a distaste for girl children and enthusiasm for boys based solely on gender, speaks about her son in a way that viewers perceive as being almost romantic, hyper-fixates on her male child’s gender and all things ‘boy,’ or if she gives special treatment to her sons through coddling and obvious favoritism.”
While there’s certainly nothing wrong with loving your children, loving one more than another isn’t healthy for anyone involved. In fact, it’s harmful to your children, who may feel unloved or pushed to the side.
Children are their own unique individuals, regardless of gender. Labels are never a good idea.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.