Man Lays Out The 3 'Conditions' He Has For The Future Mother Of His Child — And One Is That She Must Have A Nanny
Viewers feel conflicted about his expectations.
Nataliya Vaitkevich / Pexels Being on the same page as your partner is crucial, especially when getting ready to bring a child into the world. You can never really know someone until you see them as a parent — and part of that is how they prepare.
From babysitting standards to parenting styles to religion, there are a million things that should be discussed before taking the next step and bringing a child into a relationship. Despite often being uncomfortable, these conversations are essential.
One young man shared the 'conditions' the future mother of his child must agree to before deciding to have children.
The TikTok creator named Zach shared three things that he plans to communicate with the future mother of his child, ensuring everyone is on the same page before making this huge life decision.
“My girlfriend and I have both talked about conditions that need to be met in order for us to have children in the distant future if it all,” he started the video. “If any of these conditions upset you, I need to remind you that (1) you are not going to mother my child, and (2) you are not the father of my child."
Still, many viewers were conflicted over the “conditions” he discussed, with some users commending his choices, and others questioning his controlling nature. While the debate in his comments illuminates valid points about boundaries, gender roles, and the unexpected nature of having a child, it’s ultimately his decision to craft his standards surrounding having a child.
“This is an important conversation,” one commenter wrote. “You never really know until you actually have a kid, but I think it’s worth it to talk about this as potential parents.”
1. His partner 'will not be allowed to work' for the first 3 to 4 years of their child’s life — preferably until preschool age.
“Again, these are conditions. I would not have a child with a woman if she did not agree to this,” Zach clarified, saying that he’s given them a lot of thought and doesn’t care what anyone else has to say.
His first condition is to ensure that the mother of his child stays home for the first few years after childbirth. "Being a mother is already a full-time job," he said, adding that she should not have to work on top of the "physical, emotional, and mental toll it takes on a woman to have a child."
Photo: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels
Many new parents experience the burden of postpartum depression, a condition that has the potential to greatly affect the mental state of new mothers, sometimes for years at a time. However, many families are forced to return to work and leave their children at home due to financial burdens post-childbirth.
“No, this does not absolve me of being a father,” he added. “I will still be there for my child.”
2. He and the future mother of his child will hire a nanny.
"My girlfriend and I don't really have a lot of family around, and it takes a village to raise a child," he shared. "I will be hiring a nanny so that my future wife can get some rest."
With an average hourly salary of almost $20, the hiring of nannies has become increasingly more accessible for families of all incomes, especially with the alternative rising costs of traditional childcare like daycares.
However, while it might be “more affordable” than other routes, finding a good fit for your family is often a huge struggle. “Finding a nanny is like entering into the Hunger Games,” mother Katie Beach on TikTok admitted.
3. He refuses to send his children to public school.
“With the current jurisdiction around our American school system, my children will not be going to public school," he insisted. "Because to them, it’s okay if some parents don’t get to pick up their children after school.”
"I will not be putting the well-being of my child in their hands," he added.
While the root causes differ across the board, many people agree that the American public school institution is failing children. Whether it be the exponential growth of school shootings, lacking education curriculums, insufficient teacher pay, or inexcusable infrastructure, there are countless institutional flaws that drive parents away.
But, what can parents choose to do instead? While private schools and homeschooling are both options, the reality is that often only wealthy, privileged families can afford them. Whether it be time or financial constraints, many parents have no choice but to send their children to public school and bear the stress and anxiety it brings.
For many viewers, the 'conditions' seem more like luxuries than anything.
“Just wait until you actually have a kid,” one commenter wrote. “I’d agree with all of these, but it’s actually impossible for me to swing them.”
Defending his choices in the comments, Zach continued to fend off criticism from viewers. “I’m aware that these conditions will not work for all, they may work for some,” he added, “but, I know they work for me and my partner.”
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture and human interest stories.