15 Ways Your Self-Esteem Can Ruin Your Relationship
By Dr. Shirley McNeal, Ms. Nancy Philpott, Deborah Roth. Posted on .
When you're in a long-term relationship, it's easy for your self-esteem to suffer. After all, it's probably been some time since you've gotten all gussied up for the sake of attracting the opposite sex. But did you know that low self-esteem can actually harm your relationship?
Fortunately, the converse is true as well; self-confidence can enable your relationship to thrive. We asked our experts to weigh in on the role of self-esteem in making long-term love last, and here's what they had to say:
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1. Low self-confidence is limiting. If your self-confidence is too low, you will be unable to ask for what you want or set limits on what you don't want. —Dr. Shirley McNeal
2. Self-confidence is empowering. Becoming self-confident allows you to be assertive, ask for what you want and set limits on what you don't want. That includes asking for a commitment if that's what you're after! —Dr. Shirley McNeal
3. Low self-esteem is stressful. When your self-esteem is not high enough, you'll be too anxious to please and you'll hide your own thoughts and feelings to avoid disagreements. Your partner may not know who you really are, and, as a result, you'll be unable to resolve interpersonal conflicts. —Dr. Shirley McNeal
4. Self-esteem is self-expression. With a healthy self-esteem you can express your own thoughts and feelings, and feel free to reveal who you really are. You will be able to tolerate differences, and agree to disagree. —Dr. Shirley McNeal
5. Low self-esteem is self-destructive. Without self-esteem, you will lack the belief that you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. You will tolerate hurtful behavior from others too often and for too long. —Dr. Shirley McNeal
6. Self-esteem is self-respect. With self-esteem comes self-respect, where you feel you deserve to be treated respectfully and considerately. You will then find it easier to treat others with respect as well! —Dr. Shirley McNeal
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