How to tell if you're still holding on...
When a relationship ends, it's natural to miss certain things about your ex. At one point in time, you loved them (or at least really liked them) and didn't think there was anyone else in the world you'd rather be with. But somehow along the way, things changed and you've parted ways. There's a difference between missing certain qualities about your ex-the way he filled your car up with gas or someone to cuddle with for example and flatout holding on to them, hoping for a reconciliation. Here are three ways to tell if you're not over your ex.
1. You won't date other people even if you've been broken up for awhile. Everyone grieves the end of a relationship differently, and there's no set time you should wait before getting back out in the dating world. Some might choose to start online dating right away, while others may hold back for a month or six. If it's been an incredibly long time though, and you haven't opened yourself up to the possibility of finding love again because you're clinging onto the chance that your ex might want you back, you're probably not over them. Take baby steps-hang out with friends who might have attractive contacts, go out for coffee rathern than dinner, be selective and choosy when it comes to the next people you date. Opening yourself up to love again and facing forward is scary, but oh so worth it.
2. You make excuses to see them. Dropping off mail, picking up your last pair of shoes you left in his closet, asking if you can "talk" (again)...these are all ways you are attempting to keep the bond alive. When you aren't in contact, it can feel very final, so by coming up with random excuses to keep your lives somewhat entwined, you're able to feel like you haven't completely lost him yet. When the urge to call him comes up, take a deep breath and call your best friend instead. Go to the gym. Take a nap. Each time you do this, it will get easier and easier.
3. You are still hooking up. Sleeping with an ex is a whole other topic of conversation, so we will just say this-for a woman, sex strengthens bonds and emotional attachment-and isn't that the opposite of what you're trying to do? He might be the hottest guy you've ever seen naked, and know exactly how to please you in all the right ways but if you're left feeling depressed, confused or used, it's better to keep your distance.
Break-ups are never easy, but remember that when one door closes another one will open.