How do I Get Him to Stop Texting and Call Me?

There's a limit to the amount of texting you should accept from a man.

Many woman are confused by texting. They ask for texting advice: What does he mean when he just checks in? If he doesn't ask me a question, do I answer him? How long do I wait before I respond?

Texting is like emotional shorthand; you're choosing to convey your thoughts and feelings in as few words as possible. Texting's great if he's at the grocery store and wants to know what ice cream to buy. It's also helpful when he has a flat tire and needs to let you know that he's going to be late. But do you think you can get to know him through texting -- or can he know you?

There's a limit to the amount of texting you should accept from a man. You may have to start getting to know him through text or email, but without a real conversation you will never know if he's someone you actually want to go out with.

He has to be willing to have a conversation on the phone with you so you can hear his tone of voice, inflections, and have a give and take of ideas in real time. That's the only way to know if you two have a possible connection.

Because texting is emotional shorthand...it's missing all the subtlety and innuendo of real sharing and communication.

Once you're dating, you may only have contact with him between dates by text. You may accept this and make excuses for him. But if you only talk to him when you see him, it makes it easy for him to keep the relationship at a "safe level" of closeness. How can intimacy grow if you only communicate face to face when he's wining and dinning you and probably hoping for more? This is how he can keep you at arm's length so your lives remain separate.

Are you making excuses for him?  Is his life too busy to call you?

Texting Advice: If he can take the time to type out a text, he can certainly press his speed dial and call!

Seriously, is anyone that busy? If he is, then he's too busy to be a good boyfriend.

When you want to pick up the phone and ask him a question or just say hi, you'll be afraid to because that would be breaking the texting pattern that has been established.

Here's my texting advice: You're no longer in high school where you were thrilled to get any bit of attention from a boy. If you want to be in a committed relationship, you should expect real effort from a man.

My texting advice is that it's OK to text every now and then, but if a man refuses to engage with you in a face-to-face or voice-to-voice conversation in-between dates, it means you're not really worth his time...so he's not worth yours either.

Let me help you find a man who loves you and who can't wait to hear your voice. 

Author
Expert

Explore YourTango