You Can't Help Who You Fall In Love With, Right?

By

You Can't Help Who You Fall In Love With, Right?
Have you ever said, "It just happened, I couldn't stop myself from falling in love."

There’s a myth perpetrated in TV and Film that says we can't help who we fall in love with, that it just happens. Do you believe it? Have you ever said this to yourself about a relationship?

 

I’ve heard these words from new clients, especially the ones who are in relationships with inappropriate men.

They say, "I wasn't looking for a relationship with… [a married man, a work alcoholic, or fill in the blank--] it just happened. I couldn't help myself."

 

Have you ever caught yourself trying to explain to a friend or family member that, “I just fell in love, I couldn’t help myself?” If this is you please know this is just an excuse you’re telling yourself. It’s not the truth.

I’ve learned this lesson the hard way, which I describe in my book, "It's Never too Late to Marry." I write about how I got involved with an alcoholic and the devastating effect it had on my life. I told myself I wasn’t looking for a man with problems, but when I met him I couldn't help falling in love with him, it just happened.

 

If you're in a relationship where you’re putting up with bad behavior because "you love him and you just can't help yourself," I challenge you to look more closely at your true feelings. Are you really in love with an open heart or do you have to keep a piece of it protected? Do you trust this man to always act in your best interest? Real love can't exist when there isn't trust and respect and an inappropriate man can't give you either.

So how do you keep yourself from letting love 'just happen' to you? It will be a challenge. You’ll be meeting plenty of inappropriate men; they're everywhere. And you may be attracted to one and the thought of falling for him may be tempting.

 

But you don't have to follow that urge and get involved. Just because you feel something doesn't mean you should act on it. Your excuse "I couldn't help myself," won't help you feel better when you're miserable and heartbroken.

That you can't help who you fall in love with is a myth and if you believe it you’re in for a lot of heartache. Who you give your heart to will affect every aspect of your life. Don’t let yourself be blinded by your need for love. Don't give up your common sense in the name of romance.

Article contributed by

Virginia Clark

Relationship Coach

My book,  "It's Never Too Late To Marry: How to Have the Man and the Marriage of Your Dreams" is available for instant download. It will teach you the 6 essential steps you need to go from single to married to the right man for you!

Join my email community and recieve my free MP3 "Letting Love In."

Apply for your complimentary "Attract the Love of Your Life Breakthrough Session."

 

Location: Phoenix, AZ
Credentials: CHT
Other Articles/News by Virginia Clark:

I Paid A Psychic $5,000 To Get Me A Husband

By

When I was 42, I thought I'd met the love of my life. But at that time, all new relationships would make me anxious. I'd been disappointed in love so many times that I started second guessing my choices in men. I hoped Christopher would be different. He was my age, and like me had never been married. He lived in San Francisco and was visiting Los ... Read more

Truth Bomb: If He Wanted To Be With You, He Would!

By

It's a simple idea, right? Even an obvious one, but I admit ... I just didn't get it. Christopher had strung me along for 2 years. I lived in LA and he was in San Francisco. We were an hour apart by air, or 6 hours by car, yet we'd only seen each other twice in that time. It seems crazy now, but back then, it made sense. Well, the truth is ... Read more

Love Can Help You Heal After A Hurtful Breakup

By

"Love in your mind produces love in your life. This is the meaning of Heaven." ― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love It's not easy to extend love when you're not being loved in return. We can be selfish creatures, unwilling to love unless we know that love will come back to us. So after a breakup, especially one we don't want, ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular