How many texts from him equal a real date?
It's easy to find dating advice and texting tips on line, and because of the internet you may think the old rules of dating no longer apply. It’s true they’ve changed the way you “meet” a man and start initial contact, but it hasn't changed the personal effort it takes to create a romantic relationship between two people. It will always require in person, face-to-face contact.
I had a client who was “involved” with a man who was driving her crazy with texts. They went out on their first date and she knew he was the perfect man for her. She was so enchanted by him that she let down her guard and spent the night. She was hooked.
Even though they lived in the same city and went to the same church she rarely saw him. Instead getting together, he lead her into a pattern of exchanging 50 + texts a day.
This didn’t go smoothly. Sometimes he would “disappear” and not text her for a week or so. But he would start up again by texting how much he missed her and thought about her. He'd tease her with pictures of himself saying he was out with the boys and she would send pictures of herself back with her girlfriends.
The truth of their relationship was that they shared hundreds of flirty texts but they only went on 3 dates in 3 months. My client still thought he was her Mr. Right and fretted about what to text him and how to bring him closer. She looked for texting tips and spent hours wondering how to get him to ask her out more. She even looked for him at church, and be let down because he stopped showing up.
He was toying with her. She wanted texting tips on how to “reel” him in. She’s worried that if she didn’t keep in touch with him by texting he would forget her.
He knew how she felt and kept in touch with her just enough to drive her mad with longing.
Texting tips: texting is meaningless without personal interaction
I felt for her, I know what it’s like to talk yourself into a fantasy relationship. I’ve had many men give me crumbs of attention which would perfectly equate to texting today.
Texting is getting crumbs, phone calls are cookies and dating is the whole cake.Eating crumbs won’t satisfy you, in fact, they’ll only increase your appetite. You need the whole cake, icing and all.
There are texting tips everywhere. Some people promise that you can make a man fall in love with you through your texts. I don’t believe it. Like my client, you will tell yourself that’s love when it’s not. It’s only getting to know a “crumb size” piece of a man -- and sometimes it will be the crummier side of him!
My best texting tip is don’t let texting take the place of face-to-face experience. You will only end up making assumptions about his feelings and emotionally you’ll end up hungry for more of what he’s not intending to give you.