We women are expert doers and givers. If you don’t think so, look at your life and think of all the things you do for others. I bet you’re there for your girlfriends and family whenever there’s a problem. I know I am, I want to help and I want to be needed.
But your giving nature can become a problem when you are trying to create a loving relationship with a man. If being a giver is the way you relate to the world then most likely being vulnerable is hard and you don’t “receive” well from others.
This can cause frustration and heartbreak in your romantic relationships that you might not even be aware of it. It’s the main barriers that keep you from connecting deeply with a man. Being vulnerable is what attracts a man to you and gives him permission to open up himself.
When a man woos you, there’s an important aspect of his pursuit. He wants to take care of your needs and do things for you. Men need to feel that they’re important to you, that they are have something to offer you that you can’t do for yourself. If you have a problem being vulnerable it will show up in many ways.
Here are a few:
- You don’t take compliments well, you deflect them away. For example, a man says that you are looking particularly pretty. Your response is to get embarrassed and reply that you don’t really…or you could look better if (fill in the blank).
- You have a hard time letting your date take the lead when you go out. You can’t help but suggest where you should go or what you should do. You make the decisions and begin to take charge of your “social life” together.
- You have a hard time showing vulnerability: You hide how you’re feeling with a man and pretend that things are fine when they’re not.
These are just a few examples of how you may be too much of a giver in relationships. This is a hard trait to change because it requires that you give up the control you’re used to having in other areas of your life.
Being vulnerable is letting a man give to you.
It may be a surprise for you to learn that your giving nature is a way you control the people around you. When you give, you are the one who decides when and how much! When you can accept what a man offers you, you’re no longer in the driver’s seat, you are at the mercy of what they chose to do for you.
If you’re with a man who wants to do for you, and you can’t accept his efforts because it’s just too scary, you need to admit to yourself that you are out of balance and you need to make some changes. You need to work at being vulnerable.
When you learn that being vulnerable is a gift you give a man, it will change your life and all your relationships for the better.