Self

I'm Embarrassed To Admit This To You...

This morning I set out to film a new video for my book "It’s Never Too Late To Marry." My husband and I were going to set up at the back of the house around 7 a.m. before it got too hot. He was behind the camera helping me focus. We did quite a few takes and it seemed to me that all was going well. I remembered what I wanted to say and thankfully no planes flew overhead to spoil the sound. When we finished the first round I went inside to look at the videos on my computer to see how I was doing.

I grabbed my cup of decaf and settled in to watch. I was not prepared for what I saw. Let me be honest here, seeing myself on screen, filmed in bright daylight was a shock. There was no hiding it, I'm not the 35 year old woman I imagine in my mind, I could see that I'm definitely 65. A very healthy 65, but when did all these changes happen to my body?

You'd think that looking at myself in the mirror everyday would have prepared me for what I saw, but somehow when I'm telling myself "hello beautiful," in the bathroom mirror every morning, I don't see what I’m seeing now. I figure it's because watching yourself on computer places you in a more objective position from which to observe.

Suddenly I'm embarrassed that my husband has seen this too. Then the thought of you my followers and clients seeing me this way makes me cringe. All I see are the arms that are no longer toned, the lines at the neck and oh my, those hands! Suddenly every little fault was in high focus and I was shaken. I chastised myself for wearing a top that showed so much skin. I didn't think. I wore it because I love the color and it's perfect in the Arizona heat. But let's face it, I should have known better. Keep reading...

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