The Secret To Finding The Love Of Your Life


The Secret To Finding The Love Of Your Life
The secret quality you need to take your relationship from dating to true love.

There's a little known secret that will increase your chances of having a successful relationship; a secret that will help you go from just dating a man to having him turn into the love of your life. It's not often talked about because this secret is not something you'd consider sexy or exciting; in fact it's the exact opposite. But if you can cultivate it, you're going to find that dating will be much easier and more fun. You'll be able to get a good boyfriend and he'll stick around.

The secret I'm referring to is patience. It's one of the hardest qualities to embrace, yet it's essential to having a lasting relationship. Patience is defined as, "the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset." Without it love can't grow in a natural and healthy way, yet for most of us, it seems impossible where dating is concerned.


Let's face it, we're not happy waiting for anything. We have a short fuse when we're not getting what we want fast enough. We've all given a postal clerk dirty looks for taking too much with the customer ahead of us. And let's not even think about how we react to a slow driver ahead of us when we're on the road.

It turns out we behave the same way when we're dating. The instant accessibility of the Internet has given us the expectation that attraction should happen quickly. We make all sorts of assumptions about a man after exchanging a few emails or texts. We think we know enough about him from his profile and photo to determine if he's good boyfriend material.

If he passes that test and we decide to date him, we want to know everything about him instantly. We need to make a quick decision, is this man right for me? We look for a sign, a guarantee; after all we don't want to waste our time. This idea of not wasting time on the wrong man will hurt our chances for finding love. The instant judgments we make about a man can cause us to overlook a really good boyfriend. All this because we need to know everything right now.

Our lack of patience doesn't end there. Once we've decided we have a potential partner and start dating him, we then want things to progress according to our plan. We have an inner timetable that tells us what should be happening in the relationship and when. We've decided on a designated amount of time we'll tolerate before we get the first kiss, have sex and get the marriage proposal. All this because we're in such a hurry to have our relationships defined and wrapped in a neat little box.

This is how a lack of patience kills spontaneity and imposes outside restraints on love that will stop it in its tracks. It's time we throw out the inner rules we've set up that determine the flow of our relationships. This is the only way to find the love you're looking for.

I know this for a fact. It took my boyfriend 5 years to propose to me. According to the timetable we've been given by experts, I should have broken up with him after the first year and walked away. But all that time I just knew he was "the one" and I trusted myself and the timing of our relationship was unfolding. I've now been happily married to him for 13 years, something I would have missed out on if I hadn't been patient.

With patience you can enjoy the connection you have with a man and let it develop naturally without undue pressure. When you're looking for a good boyfriend you have to slow down and "smell the roses." After all, we can only truly know someone over time. Throw away your agenda. Allow your relationships to unfold naturally.

For more relationship advice check out Virginia's blog with over 175 articles on dating and how to find the love of your life.

More dating coach advice on YourTango:

Article contributed by

Virginia Clark

Relationship Coach

My book,  "It's Never Too Late To Marry: How to Have the Man and the Marriage of Your Dreams" is available for instant download. It will teach you the 6 essential steps you need to go from single to married to the right man for you!

Join my email community and recieve my free MP3 "Letting Love In."

Apply for your complimentary "Attract the Love of Your Life Breakthrough Session."


Location: Phoenix, AZ
Credentials: CHT
Other Articles/News by Virginia Clark:

How To Avoid This Common Dating Mistake


“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” ~Antoine de St Exupery, The Little Prince And so it is with dating. It’s easy to judge a man the moment you meet him and make a snap decision of his worth. First impressions are important, but they aren’t the whole story. You must get ... Read more

5 Smart Reasons Why Women Should "Stay Single" AFTER Marriage


Most experts will tell you marriage doesn't work unless each person gives 100% to the relationship—but is that really good advice? I think there's something to be said for holding a percentage of yourself back; for keeping a part of yourself "single" after marriage. Of course pouring yourself into your marriage is beneficial ... Read more

Give Him Space! 3 Ways Being Clingy DESTROYS Your Relationship


Are you too needy in your relationships? If you are you'll end up sabotaging them even when you've found a good man! The most recurring problem women tell me about is their inability to maintain a long and committed relationship with a man because of their constant sense of neediness. So what are some of the main ways you can be too needy and cause ... Read more

See More

My Videos
Most Popular