If you're a single woman over 25 in America, you've been fed a bill of goods about how to find a man. You've been told that if you want to find Mr. Right, you need get out there and date and, more importantly, you need to be dating all the time. Unfortunately, this idea is a reflection of our culture, it's based on the belief that dating, like everything else, is a numbers game. The more men you date the better your chances for meeting your perfect partner.
But the idea of "the more the merrier" isn't a good rule to follow, especially when it comes to meeting men. Like over-eating, over-dating can be bad for you. Let's face it, it's hard enough being single, do you really need the added pressure of thinking you should constantly be going out with men?
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If you're an "over-dater," you've bought into the belief that it's better to do something than do nothing. You may even believe that the time you spend not dating is time wasted. That's no way to live.
Here's how to know if you need to go on a dating diet:
- You date for the sake of dating. If this is you, you're going out with men who aren't right for you. They're probably not good for you as well. You spend your valuable time with men you have nothing in common with. When you date indiscriminately, just for the sake of dating, it can be dangerous for your heart. It makes it all too easy for you to fall for the wrong guy just because he's there. You waste valuable time and energy on relationships that are doomed to fail.
- You're afraid to be alone. When it comes to over-dating, fear of being alone is a big motivator. It keeps you constantly seeking male companionship, and settling for quantity over quality. If you don't overcome your fear you will sabotage your love life. You'll be desperate for male attention and too needy to keep healthy boundaries. You end up over-dating to keep yourself distracted and to save yourself from the aloneness of your own company.
- You treat dating like work. Do you schedule three coffee dates in a day for the sake of efficiency? You may think men won't know what's going on, but they'll sense they're not getting your full attention. How could they? When you're with number one, you'll be worrying about number two, and by number three, you'll be totally distracted trying to keep them straight in you mind. When you stack dates together, like seeing multiple men over a weekend, you can't be fully present with any of them. Your mind is not built to be so compartmentalized. It takes focus and attention to spend quality time with a man. Packing too many interactions in a short period of time will make each feel more like a business meeting than a date.
Dating is important; you don't want to just sit home and wait for Mr. Right to knock on the door. But there's a healthy balance to find between action and inaction. Finding love is not a numbers game; it's about quality rather than quantity.
If you're over-dating, don't be afraid to go on a dating diet. Stop filling yourself up with first dates that will never go anywhere. Take your time and carefully pick a quality man who will satisfy you and not leave you hungry for more.
To learn more about how to have a healthy dating life go to my website: www.itsnevertoolatetomarry.com. There you can sign up for my free, "Attract the Love of Your Life Breakthrough Session" and learn how to meet your Mr. Right.
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