I feel compelled to write this warning to all you wonderful women who have been putting time and energy into internet dating. I want to tell you about my newest client and give you a heads-up if you’re Internet dating.
Marcie is 52 years old and a highly accomplished woman. She’s recently divorced from a long marriage and has a beautiful 24-year-old daughter. She’s a world traveler and has spent much of her life helping women to find their authentic voice and their true-life path.
She came to me in shame and embarrassment over a very recent experience she had with a man she met on Match.com. It had deeply shaken her confidence and also broken her heart.
It seems a very good-looking man, who lived one town over from her, started pursuing her on Match. He said he was a gemologist and he seemed more interesting and than most of the men she had been meeting.
He said he was ready for a serious relationship, in fact, he told her in the first few days of their correspondence that he was sure she was the perfect woman for him. He was anxious to meet her but a month went by and he just wasn’t able to make that happen; he always had a good excuse why he couldn’t see her.
They emailed at first and then moved on to texting and even phone calls. She began to fall for this man who seemed so loving and so interested in her. Here’s an example of what he would write:
“Honey, I may not get to see you as often as I like. i may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart I truly know you’re the one that i love, and i can’t let you go.”
Like many of us, she was hungry for love and chose to overlook certain things that were not quite feeling right. For one, his voice did not quite match his photograph. He seemed to be of a different race than his photo portrayed him to be and he had a strong accent and sometimes she found him hard to understand. But he said such wonderful things that all her common sense went out the window.
Another indication that something was not quite right was his spelling and his use of the English language. It wasn’t that he was a bad speller; he just had unusual grammar and sentence structure.
“Marcie, i promise to see you before you leave on thursday…why i relocated to colorado was when gota decvoice from my ex wife,i will tell tell you more about it not now my dear… I can hardly wait to show you all my promises… I LOVE YOU SWEETIE.”
He said he was going on a business trip to Scotland. They were supposed to meet before he left but he canceled at the last minute. She was disappointed again but still not seeing the path he was leading her down.
Then she received an email a few days later: