Are Women Programmed For A Love Affair?


Are Women Programmed For A Love Affair?
What are cheating women trying to find?

"What the hell did I do? What was I thinking?" A wave of nausea hits your stomach as you scurry toward the bathroom. You're starting to freak out about whether or not your spouse will find out you just cheated on him. Your thoughts are racing. Your head is spinning. "What if he asks about my day? What if he notices I changed clothes? I'd better jump in the shower again." The sweat beads over your upper lip. You can taste it. That, and a whole lot more. A recent article in the Huffington Post points out that most women who are cheating on their spouses are seeking romantic passion, not divorce. What's going on? Why are over half of you seeking out sex and intimacy with someone other than your spouse, especially if you're satisfied enough to stay in your marriage?

You are programmed for a love affair, but maybe not completely in the way you might initially guess. Evolutionary psychology would tell you that it is in your genes to pursue sex and that you are programmed to perpetuate the human species. True. Eastern psychology would tell you that you are designed to be in relationship with all those you vibe with. That's true too. Neuroscientists would explain to you how your brain is wired to help you adapt to anything you do repeatedly, including sex. So no wonder having sex with the same partner for years can become a "been there, done that" kind of boring disappointment. Your nervous system laid new wiring, so to speak, to be able to help you do whatever you were doing over and over, really well and efficiently. The down side is that you now have to start seeking out newer and newer sexual situations in order to feel stimulated once again. But the arousal never lasts for long because your body adapts to those new experiences too. This feature of our body's adaptability, which psychology refers to as neuroplasticity, just may be the basis of all addiction, including addiction to sex, because it keeps us desiring more and more to reach new levels of high. Is having an affair the start of an addiction? It can be. If you get hooked to seeking out new sexual partners to get that next high, it probably is. But the reason you need more and more of what you are addicted to, is because it (e.g. sex, porn, gambling, alcohol, drugs) isn't the "thing" you are missing in the first place.

Romantic passion lights up our whole body. As we gaze into one another’s eyes, we feel seen to our core. Our lover whispers words that give rush to our soul. The electrical charge of emotional intimacy penetrates the space between us and unites us as one. That is what we seek. The oneness state that is the mark of all true love. The unity state that physicists are now calling quantum consciousness. For most of us who have never experienced that level of one mind, sexual orgasm may be the closest we come to feeling it. Where we first learn to explode beyond the boundaries of our personal awareness. It is inevitable that we achieve the oneness state consciously in life or as we pass beyond death. We are meant to expand our awareness into the realm of quantum consciousness where we literally are one with everyone and everything, and time stands still. It is the quantum love affair that we unknowingly pursue. And that we are definitely programmed to do.

More about why women cheat on YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Valerie Varan


Valerie Varan, MS, LPC

Integrating western/eastern psychology with quantum physics and ancient wisdom for your personal transformation

Stay tuned for my pending book, Coping With Quantum Reality

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Location: Greenwood Village, CO
Credentials: LPC
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Career, Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Depression, Emptiness, Energy Psychology, Engagement, Forgiveness, Holistic Coach, Identity Issues, Life Management, Midlife Crisis, Self-Esteem, Spiritual
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