You Are ALREADY in a Relationship!

By

You Are ALREADY in a Relationship!

All too often I hear from clients that they wish they had time to date but they just don’t. My immediate reply is, “You are already in a relationship.” A puzzled look ensues.

It is true, I insist. You are already in a relationship. It might not be with a man, but it is with something. Something is consuming your resources making it difficult and oftentimes impossible to make room for a romantic relationship.

 

Here’s the thing. Subtly, we sometimes sabotage potential relationships by simply overloading our lives with other things so that we literally don’t have the emotional, mental, physical or just plain time bandwidth to accomodate love. We blame our crazy job and bitchy slavedriving boss. We blame our kids and their high demands. We blame our expansive social life or are family’s needs. We blame, blame, blame, pointing the finger at everything that is actually NOT the problem and skip over what is.

Yes – I’m talking about ourselves. Take a moment to look at the way you spend your time. Each day, each week, each month. It might help to actually map it out. Look at how you have divided your energy among work, friends, family, “me” time, hobbies and even wasting time checking facebook. That’s right – you might be dating Facebook! Once you examine how your time is spent, you will begin to notice how much time you could be spending on building a happy love life. If you find yourself still saying there is no room, begin dissecting WHY you need to devote so much time to various parts of your life which dominate. Questions what would happen if you scaled back a little. Plenty of research shows that when you are in a happy relationship you are actually happier and more productive in other areas of your life. So take that.

Just remember you are always dating something or someone… if it isn’t the someone you want it to be, look within to uncover why you choose it/him/her over what you say you really want. The answers are all there, you just may have to dig a bit.

Live and love largely,
Tristan 

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tristan Coopersmith

Marriage and Family Therapist

Tristan Coopersmith, M.A. MFTi
www.tristancoopersmith.com

Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, MFTI
Other Articles/News by Tristan Coopersmith:

How to Get Some HOT Single Girl Action this Valentine's Day!

By

Being single on Valentine’s Day sucks. There I said it. And it isn’t just THE day that blows, it is all the days leading up to it. It is going to your local Target only to be bombarded with Valentine Day specials. It is the questioning of friends about what you will do on that night to avoid being a lonely heart. It is the Kay Jewelers ... Read more

3 Reasons You Must Stop Shopping for a Husband

By

There are scads of articles and books written promising a foolproof formula to finding a husband. Usually they include a step by step guide with a guarantee of success in x number of days. If you are a reader of these, time to toss them and whatever manipulation they have down to your head and heart and it is time to get real! The thing is, love takes time ... Read more

Are You Willing to Work For Love?

By

I’m a big believer in universal energy. I believe that everything in the universe is on loan to us to leverage as we need. I believe that we are born to love and born to be loved. I believe that it is EVERYONE’S divine right to experience rich, gorgeous, healthy, sustainable love. But what I don’t believe is that all you need to do is sit ... Read more

See More

 
PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular