Community Blog: In Defense of John Mayer


Community Blog: In Defense of John Mayer

I've long loved John Mayer. Not for his ballads or his boyish good looks … truth be told, both are a little soft and predictable (particularly his pseudo rock boy tatted sleeve) for my taste. I've met him a few times for business purposes, although he wouldn't remember because he can be as self-indulgent as the press implies. Past girlfriends complain about him and his own tweets admit that he is more of a tortured soul that I can bare. But, alas, my love for John John is strong because his approach to love is smart. It goes a little something like this: 

John is a believer in L-O-V-E.
According to his recent Rolling Stone interview, "he knows she (i.e. the one for him) is out there and he will not stop until he finds her. And her Joshua Tree of vaginas." After all, this former pizza face shy guy with no lady game has dedicated his life to serenading women worldwide with his anthems of heartbreak and heart hope … what stronger proof do we need?


Love lesson learned from John: Believe in love because it makes you more loveable.

John isn't willing to settle.
And perhaps it is John's strong belief in almighty love that won't allow him to settle. In regards to America's sweetheart Jennifer Aniston, he’d say this to her, "I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn't arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life. This is not my ideal destiny." He knows that when you love yourself you know you deserve the most tailor fitted partner to ride to the end of the road with ... having such a high regard for one's self should be applauded, not scolded.

Love lesson learned from John: Don't be fearful of commitment; be afraid to commit to the wrong person.

John is on an experience line, not on a timeline.
At 32, John and his first love, his guitar, are not putting a timeline on love. Although admittedly and endearingly he would like to find a life partner, the clock is not ticking and he'd rather deal with public criticisms (and god only knows what grief his mama gives him) and continue collecting the necessary experience he needs in order to get this big thing we call love right, than do it fast.

Love lesson learned from John: Relinquish yourself of the pressure of timelines—your time will come when you have learned all you need to know to prepare you for great love.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tristan Coopersmith

Marriage and Family Therapist

Tristan Coopersmith, M.A. MFTi

Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, MFTI
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