ToveTalks: Step-By-Step Guide To Loving Yourself

1. Start
2. Listen
3. Interrupt
4. Redirect
5. Recognize
6. Repeat as needed

1. Start
a. Decide you are going to work on what it means to love yourself. It sounds so corny and unattainable, but little by little it is completely possible, and enriches your life and the lives of others. Like Marianne Williamson said “Our deepest fear is not that we
are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

More from YourTango: The 5 Least Sexy: Best Sex Tips To Know

2. Listen
a. Begin to hear your inner voice(s). We all have them. The judge and the jury that weigh in on every little thing in our lives. Begin to hear them. When do they say nice things, and when are they saying not nice things?

3. Interrupt
a. When you begin to hear yourself talking negatively tell this voice to stop. Tell yourself (or the voice of your mother or someone else you have manifested in your head) that you will not allow them to talk to you in that way. “If you don’t have anything nice to say,
then don’t say anything at all”. Honestly ask yourself, if someone else was talking to you like that, would you want to be their friend? Would you talk to someone else like that? NO, because that is called mental and emotional abuse. So why are we doing it
to ourselves?

4. Reframe
a. Reframing is a powerful tool. The language we use to (and towards) others and ourselves means a lot. There is a big difference between “my show was canceled” and “the radio station that my show was on, shut down”. One is self-blame and suggests
a lack of validity and the other is just what happened. No blame, no shame, just reframe.

5. Recognize.
a. You are a survivor. Everyday is a gift; that’s why they call it the present. You are here for a reason, just the way you are. Now I am not saying there isn’t an opportunity for self-reflection and growth, because we are all a work in progress, but you are loved.
You are wonderful. You are a gift. Not just to a few, but to many, and to yourself.

More from YourTango: Love Bytes: A Guy's Take On How To Find Real Love

6. Repeat as needed
We are all a work in progress. In life, we are always practicing. And remember, practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice makes better.

May you be blessed on all of your journeys.