Going through a divorce can be similar to experiencing the death of a loved one. Sometimes it is quick and sudden or slow and gradual. In any case, the person you dreamed about growing old with is no longer a part of your everyday life. This is a huge loss no matter how dysfunctional the relationship was. Not only have you lost your life companion, but your sense of security, financial stability, parenting partner, and much more.
With hopes dashed and trust broken, you may think life will never be the same. Feeling depressed, disappointed, sad, alone, and disillusioned, life hasn’t turned out the way you had planned. You may find yourself isolating and sleeping more than usual. You may even question your purpose in life or wonder what’s the point of it all?
After a divorce, it is important to go through a grieving process yet society does not honor our grief. Our family and friends want to see us happy so they encourage us to move on with our lives. Not wanting to burden others, we often grieve alone or repress our feelings and pretend to be happy.
Unresolved grief is unhealthy and often leads to depression, anxiety, addiction and even physical illness. Further, it keeps us stuck, from living life fully. It keeps us from being fully present and available to new relationships and new possibilities for our lives.
Healing and transformation doesn’t happen over night, but is a process unique to each individual. For example, a divorce after a twenty-year marriage may take longer to heal from than one that lasted only three years. It may entail more complications such as dividing shared assets and co-parenting. Further, over time, more resentment may have built up.
Here are some keys to help you get started with the process so you can heal your broken heart and live life to the fullest.