Love and relationships are frustrating for everyone, not just you.
If you were to look the word "frustrating" up in a thesaurus, you'd almost expect to find "love and relationships" as two of its synonyms. There is no doubt about it, frustration and dating go hand in hand. At its root, this seems innately unfair. Love and relationships should be fun, not something that makes us want to pull our hair out.
So, why is this? Why does something that should be sunshine and roses feel like daggers and bee stings? Sometimes, it can be difficult to tell. What may cause love and relationships to be frustrating to you, may be an aspect that another person loves....even if they aren't a masochist. Even so, there are three reasons why the vast majority of people become so frustrated with love and relationships and everything they involve.
It all begins with the movies.
1. Hollywood's Perception of Romance
It's fair to say that everyone has seen a movie. And, because nearly every movie has some element of love and relationships to it, we inevitably find ourselves comparing our romantic lives to the cinematic plot-lines. But movies are made to entertain, even those based on true stories deviate quite a bit. Movies are also short, with years and even decades condensed into a couple of hours. In other words, they don't accurately represent relationships, or anything else.
Movies are also a form of escape. Most of us would rather see a movie that portrays romance as easy and simple (or at least comedic) than one that portrays it dripping with realism. To put it simply, we go to the movies to escape our problems, not be reminded of them.
2. The Friend Comparison
Another reason we find love and relationships so frustrating has to do with the friend comparison. In short, we compare ourselves to our friends. We tell ourselves that John gets all the women or that things come so easy to Mark. We envy Gail and Tom for their flawless marriage and believe that Steph and Casey have the perfect life, cozied up behind their white picket fence.
But, the ironic thing about jealously and comparing ourselves to others is this: the objects of our envy rarely have the perfect lives we believe they do. Instead, they have the same struggles and frustrations as the rest of us. Gail and Tom on the outside may appear to have the perfect marriage but, behind closed doors, Tom is sleeping with his secretary and Gail is downing a bottle of wine every night before bed.
3. People Are Innately Different
The final leg in our mile of frustration has to do with peoples' differences. There's lots of them. Men are different from women and even those within the genders want different things.
Because of these differences, dating can be one of those areas where it becomes difficult to learn from experiences. What may have worked on one woman won't work on another and what one guy may have found annoying, another may adore. This, in a sense, causes us to approach each relationship from square one, and start anew with each new date we have.
Of course, there are things we learn about love and relationships along the way: how to communicate, how to effectively say what we need and how to read the body language of another person. But, there are others things that we've learned that end up being non-applicable. That's enough to frustrate just about anyone. It's like learning to master the VCR only to find out the DVD has been invented.
Frustration and dating will probably always be a package deal. Yet, like so many things, the good also outweighs the bad. Thus, no one will ever say that love isn't frustrating. They'll only say that it's worth it.
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