It's not your verbal language, but your body language that often speaks volumes.
When most men wonder how to get a girl, they also wonder what to say to women. This is important because, obviously, your words can make or break you. Cheesy pickup lines, sexist comments or bold assumptions can each ruin your chance at a date before you even get started. Asking a girl if it was love at first sight or should you walk by again, for instance, is like stamping yourself on the forehead with ink that reads "Un-dateable."
Nonverbal communication, including how you raise your eyebrows, posture your body or inflict the tone of your voice, makes up the vast majority of communication — over 90 percent, in fact. Due to this, sometimes getting a girl has more to do with how you say things — and what your body does when you speak or listen — than it has to do with your choice of words.
Really, when trying to lure a female into your web, it's all about nonverbal communication that shows interest and openness.
Body Language That Shows Interest
In the art of showing interest in a girl, the most important body part you have is your mouth: a smile isn't only worth a thousand words, but it's also worth a dozen dates. Still, smiling only gets things initiated. There are other types of body language that help the girl you like know she has your attention.
For instance, leaning forward when a girl talks to you shows that you really want to hear what she has to say, a little tidbit that women love. Leaning back — on the other hand — conveys that your interest is like Elvis; it has left the building.
Staying focused on your date is another way to show your interest. This means that when speaking to a woman refrain from looking around, checking your watch or doodling on the napkin in front of you. You must also refrain from answering your phone or — better yet — turn it off altogether. Focusing on your phone and not your girl will pretty much assure it'll just be you and Siri for years to come.
Body Language That Shows Openness
Body language that shows openness can sometimes be more difficult to pull off in the game of how to get a girl. This is because with open body language you are doing exactly what the term suggests; you are putting yourself out there. In other words, you are risking rejection. But — to get the girl — sometimes that's just a risk you must be willing to take.
So, next time you are in a bar, at a party or in any other situation where a girl catches your eye, remember to:
- Stop crossing your arms: Crossing arms may be more of a female trait, but males definitely do it too. But, the problem with crossing them around a girl you like is that crossed arms insinuate that you are bored, annoyed, or simply not in the mood to converse.
- Make the right amount of eye contact: The key to good eye contact is balance. If you don't make any eye contact, you come across as either insecure or uninterested. Yet, if you make too much eye contact you come across as intense, intimidating, and just a bit creepy. Of course, you also risk being mistaken for a goldfish.
- Keep your body open: You don't do this with open mouths and definitely not with open flies. Instead, keep your body open by angling yourself towards the person you are talking to (or hoping to talk to) and standing straight, but not too stiff. The stiffness comes later — at least hopefully.
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