Quick question. Are you happy? That’s right, I am talking to you. You know, the one half of any relationship you create and the only part you can control. You.
As a dating coach, I can’t believe how many people come to me wanting a happy and fulfilling relationship but aren’t actually happy with themselves. WHAT??? How much sense does that make? Or is that poor, unknowing, already set up to fail guy supposed to “complete you”? Lucky them. That makes about as much sense as not having oil or gas in your car and thinking it will run. I have done that. It doesn’t work no matter how much I click my heels and wish it would. 3 Reasons Why Reality Is Better Than Fantasy
Too many times I see people daydreaming and waiting for that “someday your prince will come”. Well. I got something better. What if I told you that you have a power in yourself bigger than any royalty and the ability to change your life starting today! True story.
I like to think I am a Ms. Smarty Pants, but being a dating coach isn’t rocket science. The overall concept is very simple. The happier and more complete you are as a person, the less you are searching for someone to fill in all the gaps. You will not need your significant other to be your best friend, a great listener, your rock and support system, the breadwinner yet sensitive to your different moods, your shopping partner, your handyman, your top chef, your super model to make you look good and your hero who tells you how good looking you are everyday through well written love notes. I am exhausted just thinking about what this poor guy is expected to be. Can anybody really live up to that? You can truly search for a partner on this crazy journey we call life instead of needing someone to fix you. Do Good Men Still Exist?
Here are three ways to jumpstart your happiness factor and start creating the person that you want to date.
1. Love your goods, bads and nutties.
What happens when we find someone with real potential? Many times we mold ourselves into the person we think that they want us to be. We make small (sometimes not so small) changes to make sure that they stay. Realizing somewhere down the road that we are unhappy and start to go back to being ourselves leaving them scratching their heads saying “What just happened there?” Instead we need to learn to love our authentic, imperfect selves creating healthy boundaries in the beginning of the relationship. Trying new things, always working to being better, but always yourself. Everyone else is already taken.
2. Build a Life Support Team
Feel like you are attracting the wrong people? Start by taking a look at what you are putting out there. Usually what is going on around you is a reflection of what is going on inside you. There are times in my life where I looked around and felt most people in my life were negative and unhappy, tell I looked around and realized that I was in a place where I was feeling pretty negative and unhappy. Hmmm... First Date Nightmares: Are You One Of Them?