How do you know if you are a healthy sexual woman or a love or sex addict? Where is the line?
Is there a line one crosses from healthy sexuality to sex addiction? If there is, where is the line. These questions are being asked by many people as more celebrities, elected officials, and religious leaders have claimed they are addicted to sex, and are seeking treatment. Is sex addiction just a excuse for the rich and famous to hide behind, or is there something to it? 7 Signs You Have A Problem With Porn [EXPERT]. Let's look at a couple of people who have identified themselves as female sex addicts and see what they have to say about their experience.
A 42 year old women reported that she has had over 1000 lovers. she says, 'I know I’m a sex addict, but I can’t face getting professional help. Sex is the only thing that makes me feel good about myself. I guess when the men start saying no, I’ll stop having sex. I know some people must think I’m a terrible person, but believe me I’m not proud of myself.' She is a clear example of a female sex addict. This woman is having substantial emotional consequenses for engaging in her sexual behavior. She sounds like a predator with comments like, "'I’d begin to feel hungry for sex,' she says. 'I’d go on the prowl for men on my lunch breaks. If I didn’t manage to have sex I’d be unproductive all afternoon. If I go without for a few days I start to feel desperately low, depressed and lack energy.' This desperate sense of needing to have sex to feel okay is affecting her functioning on a daily basis, yet she refuses to get treatment.
In contrast, another woman, Marnie, is clear she is a sex addict who has been in recovery since 1991. She admits to the trauma of being sexually abused as a child and acted out sexually until she began to heal through recovery work. Marnie is using the experience to help other women break free from the hold sex addiction has on them.
Due to our cultural standards, women are identified as derogitory terms if they engage in sex with more than one person. Women have a deeper sense of shame surrounding their sexuality than do men. Women are more likely to say they have a relationship issue, or they just have a poor picker for partners. Rob Weiss says, "What we know today is that approximately 8-12% of those seeking sexual addiction treatment are women." There are no research studies completed to determine the numbers of women who are suffering, with out seeking treatment. Most women sex addicts present with Romance Addiction (closely related to love and sex addiction) reporting romance-oriented symptoms such as:
1. A history of short, failed relationships where sex is the primary bond
2. A pattern of inappropriate sexual relationships (i.e., with a boss or a married man)
3. Consistently returning to or remaining with partners who are abusive, neglectful, and/or emotionally unavailable
4. Compulsive masturbation to romantic fantasies of past or future partners, romantic books or films, etc.
5. Consistently having sex as a means of feeling loved
6. Encouraging “gift giving” from emotionally disengaged sexual partners (or other means of being paid for sex) but not calling that prostitution
7. Acting out BDSM or other fetish behaviors in secret and/or with anonymous partners while in a primary relationship
So where is the line from healthy sexuality to problematic sexuality? Every one must establish that personally. If you are having consequences from your sexual fantasies or behavior you are headed toward problematic sexual behavior. Marie Claire reports, sexual addiction Consequenses can be severe like losing your family and access to your kids to having intrusive obsessive thoughts or fantasies about an inappropriate person. Best case scenario is if you have the smallest nagging feeling that you may be having sexual consequences, call for help. Most people struggling from any sort of sexual addiction have had a history of trauma, abuse, or neglect in childhood. Anyone can benefit from healing, and improving their primary relationships You deserve to Journey to an Abundant Life of love, care, and safety.