50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex
ProConnect

What Makes Men Husband Material

By

wedded bliss
Do you want a provider, a partner or both?
Four factors to consider before making a life-long commitment.

What is "husband material" anyway? If you are single and looking for Mr. Right, this question has probably crossed your mind more than a few times. If you are a romantic, you probably think the sparks and fireworks you feel every time you are together will be your guide. If you're more pragmatic, you likely have a list of attributes you want, and you dismiss men who don't live up to those expectations. Both of these approaches require modification to accommodate real human beings with strengths and weaknesses. With that in mind, let's consider how to look for the best traits in a lifelong partner:

1. Know yourself. The more you know about yourself, the more you can share with your date. Sharing your whole life history on the first date is probably too much information. Ideally, give him little spoonfuls of information about yourself and see what he does with them. Does he change the subject back to himself, or does he seem interested in your feelings? Do you feel comfortable exposing your feelings to him, or would you rather keep them to yourself? The key to successful relationships is to find a balance between not sharing anything and sharing everything.

More from YourTango: 5 Things 'Awkward' Teaches About Cheaters & Why They Blame You

2. Know him. If you want a quality man for a lifelong husband, then accept him for who he is today, not who he might be in the future. Everyone chooses to continue to grow, or they get stuck where they are at until they have sufficient motivation to change. What you want to see in him is the openness to change and grow over time. Take your time getting to know him; intentionally disagree with him and see what happens.

Pay attention and be aware of his habits. If he "forgets" to brush his teeth, remember, you don't have have to kiss him. Everyone, including you, has annoying habits. When you choose each other for a lifelong relationship there will be qualities you adore in each other and qualities that are a bit annoying.

3. Know your dealbreakers. Dealbreakers are behaviors and attitudes that would cause you to break off the relationship. They might include poor hygiene, poor employment history, and/or cheating. If you don't want to be cheated on or lied to, tell him. Look for clues from his behavior to tell if he is being open and honest with you. Identify for yourself how you want to be treated by a lifelong partner. Consider whether he is willing to accommodate your dealbreakers. If not, be ready to leave the relationship. He won't magically change in the future. Keep reading ...

More from YourTango: Taking Back Your Sexuality After Trauma Or Abuse

For a limited time, sign up for YourTango's newsletter and get a free Husband Material ebook!

More marriage advice from YourTango:

 

 

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Teresa Maples

Counselor/Therapist

Teresa Maples MS, LMHC, CSAT, CMAT

If you are a woman who has been betrayed and want to heal and thrive  I want to invite you to my Free Webinar.

My passion is to encourage, nurture,and validate people, deepening their most important relationships to Live Life Abundantly!

Reserve my seat now for the amazing webinar, "Surviving to Thriving" Help for women after discovering your partner has cheated.

 

Location: Gig Harbor, WA
Credentials: CMAT, CSAT, LMHC
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Sex Addiction
Other Articles/News by Teresa Maples:

5 Things 'Awkward' Teaches About Cheaters & Why They Blame You

By

On the successful MTV show Awkward, Jenna and Matty were the perfect couple — until Jenna messed it up by cheating and not taking responsibility for her actions.  The show is so compelling that I watched all three seasons in one week. It helps that I am a serious student of human nature and found the characters similar to what you ... Read more

Taking Back Your Sexuality After Trauma Or Abuse

By

If you suffered from childhood sexual abuse you probably land in one of two camps; those who have nightmares and avoid sexual experiences out of fear, and those that repeat the pattern of sexual trauma, justifying it in the name of freedom. Both behaviors are problematic and can deprive you of a fulfilling life. Even though you were abused as a child, it ... Read more

Radio Show: Healing After Betrayal

By

Carol the Coach interviewed Teresa Maples on March 3, 2014 on the topic of Partners of Cheaters. If you are interested click here and you can listen to the interview in its entirety. Teresa talked about her upcoming webinar and how she can help women who want healing after being betrayed by their partners. Many partners feel like they are going crazy and ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Dating: How to Tell if He is Ready For A Relationship

Can He Handle A Relationship?

Know whether a man is relationship-ready — before you get too involved.

Banana

Kegel Exercises For Men? A New Study Reveals All!

A new study reveals the sexual benefits of Kegel exercises for men: here's how to get started!

Jump For Joy

Live Out Loud

If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out ...

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS