Surviving Mother's Day When You've Lost Your Mom

Here are seven tips to help you cope with your loss on this holiday.

Surviving Mother's Day When You've Lost Your Mom Getty 
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Mother's Day is a time to honor and cherish mothers. Whether your relationship with yours is nurturing or strained, all mothers have one thing in common: they love their children. But, what if your mom is no longer around? Maybe she has passed on or refuses to talk with you as an adult. Either way, you're feeling sad and lonely without her. Here are a few ways to help you get through the day.

1. Remember the good times you had with her. Find and remember fond memories of your mother. How did you feel in her presence? Imagine you're with her now and she is playing with you like in your childhood memory. Allow yourself to feel her presence with you.

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2. Go through old photographs and videos. Another way to access your memories is to look at old photographs, videos and other mementos that remind you of your mom. Discover the many ways she uniquely cared for you.

3. Write your mom a letter. After accessing your memories, write to your mom. The point here is to give you the opportunity to say the things that were never said or to ask questions that have been left unanswered for you.

4. Imagine what she would say if she were in the room with you. Use your imagination to pretend your mom is with you today and that she has a message for you. What is that message? What is it that only she can tell you that you most need to hear? This step takes careful listening to imagine your mother's wisdom to speak to you, but be patient with this process; it can be very rewarding. Keep reading ...

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5. Allow yourself to grieve. Tears are a natural response to losing someone close to you. Allow yourself to feel sad, lonely or even mad that your mother is not around anymore for you. The tears themselves can be healing, so honor these emotions in yourself.

6. Share stories about your mother with family and friends. Set up a friends and family party to share stories about your mom with the group. Ask others to share their memories of your mother too. You may learn some other aspects about your mom you never knew before and it may enhance your appreciation of her role in your life.

7. Make a tribute to your mom. Access your creativity and make a memorial or tribute to your mom. It could be a poem, a song, a sculpture, a collage, a painting or any other creative thing you can think of. Any idea is a good one. The process of creating can be healing too.

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If you have lost your mother, Mother's Day can be a painful day. It reminds you that she is no longer around and brings sadness and longing for her to be with you. Some people feel they would dishonor their moms if they stopped grieving. If this is you, ask yourself if your mom would want you to be sad and grieving forever.

Honor yourself by trying the tips above. You can bring healing by actively processing your grief. No one can take your memories away from you. You will always have them. Most moms want the best for their kids and would want you to live a full and successful life however you define it.

If you would like more information to make your relationships thrive, please sign up for my newsletter. You may also connect with me on my website Teresa Maples LMHC, CSAT and on twitter.

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