4 Skills It Takes To Make Your Marriage Thrive

Have you ever felt like something was a little off in your relationship?

Many women and men dismiss bits of information about their partner that turn out to be warning signs for future trouble. These subtle feelings are actually your gut telling you to pay attention to something.

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Being a professional counselor, I have learned to trust my gut and I teach others to do the same. (You are welcome to sign up for my newsletter if you want more free information about relationships and their care.)

During the early phase of marriage, most people want to see the good in their spouse. Overall, I think this is a good strategy. However, it is also important and healthy to be able to trust your gut when you feel there is a problem in your relationship and address it with your spouse. Your relationship health affects your personal health

Trusting you gut involves some basic skills:

1. Awareness of your body sensations. This involves paying attention to your heartbeat rate, pain in your heart, tightness in your chest, weight on your shoulders, intestinal distress and other sensations as indicators to pay attention to your feelings.

For example, early in my marriage, I overlooked my gut feelings. I did not have words for them. My husband would talk a lot, tell stories and generally be entertaining. This is a great quality about him; anyone would say he is a great story teller. At the time, I saw his story telling as a positive since I was relieved from my responsibility to communicate, due to my shyness and insecurity. I actually pushed my body sensations aside and did not pay attention to them.

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It worked for me at the time. However over time, my body sensations began to emerge as tightness in my throat, pressure in my chest and pain in my heart. I knew then there was something wrong. I then had to find words for the bodily sensations I felt. I developed a deep resentment towards him and didn't know why.

More marriage advice from YourTango Experts:

• 25 Secrets To A Loving, Lasting Marriage
• The 5 Worst Bits Of Marriage Advice We Happily Ignore
• Advice: 9 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Marriage