Visualize Your Perfect Valentines Day


Visualize Your Perfect Valentines Day
Want the perfect Valentine's Day? Here's how.

Visualize Your Perfect Valentine’s Day
By Dr Tammy Nelson

This Valentine’s Day you have a plan.  You’ll buy flowers, have dinner, drink wine, and make love.  It sounds romantic…and unrealistic.


Most likely you’ll sit in a crowded restaurant with other couples, paying for an overpriced meal.  You’ll eat overly rich food and drink too much wine.  When you get home you’ll be tired instead of amorous, because of the rich food and wine.  The overpriced roses will be wilting because they were brought in by bulk trucks for the holiday and flash cooled.  The lingerie you bought for the night is tight because you feel bloated from all that rich food.  Sex will be nice, but not particularly spectacular, because you are both sleepy.  The next day the chocolate will be sweet, the cards overly sentimental, but the holiday will have been a moderate success.  You will probably both be glad it’s over and that you at least had someone special to celebrate with.

This year, instead of falling into the trap of the same old Valentine’s Day rut, create your perfect vision of your own ideal Valentine’s Day.  Creating a “Vision” means taking the time to perfect what the ideal Valentine’s Day means for each of you, both for you and your sweetheart.  Creating a vision is different than making a plan.  In order to have an ideal date with your Valentine, you have to first envision what would make the day ideal for both of you.

Ask your partner to also imagine their Valentine’s Day.  If they could have anything they wanted on February 14th, what would it be?  Then share your ideas with one another.  To begin, ask yourselves the following questions.  What, when, where and how? 
What do you imagine would be the most romantic or fun thing to do together on Valentine’s Day?  Would you prefer to go out or stay home?  Do you like a loud, crowded bar with lots of music and action? Or do you like to stay home and cuddle on the couch and share a homemade meal in front of an old movie?  Your visions do not have to match; you can work that out later.  For now, you are only imagining your dreams.  Even if they are unrealistic, say waking up on a Caribbean beach and drinking pina colodas for breakfast, share your dream anyway.  There may be a way you can incorporate the pina colodas even if you can’t escape to an island this year.

When is the most important part of the day for you?  Do you like to stay in bed in the morning and snuggle?  Do you want to wish your partner a Happy Valentine’s Day before you even brush your teeth?   Or is the nighttime the biggest part of your fantasy for Valentine’s Day?  Is dancing under the moon the most romantic part of the day for you?  Does an afternoon picnic sound like the most fun part of your day and something you always wanted to try?

Article contributed by
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Tammy Nelson


Tammy Nelson, PhD, LPC email me at

Location: Ridgefield, CT
Credentials: LPC, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Sex Therapy
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