Having Sex After The Affair

By

Having Sex After The Affair
Having sex after one of you cheated can be hard, but there are ways to make it work.

After an affair, deciding to stay together may be one of the most difficult decisions you will ever make. You have decided to listen to your heart and not to any of your well meaning friends or relatives who may be telling you to leave. You both want to work on your relationship and are committed to a new monogamy, together. 3 Ways To Have Honeymoon Sex Tonight

So what's next? A new sex life — with each other. You may realize by now that your sex life prior to the affair was a point of conflict, either you weren't having enough of it or one of you was more satisfied than the other. Moving forward in a new relationship with each other means that your erotic recovery will be key to your new monogamy.

 

Remember, your erotic relationship is the thing that separates you from being merely roommates. In order to move forward into a new romantic relationship together, this part of your relationship will take on a new level of importance for both of you.

For now, know that your sex life is not to blame for your affair. In fact, many couples who have healthy and full sex lives still cheat. But if sex is something that you identified in your past as an issue for either of you, you will need to continue to work on your sex life if you want to continue your life together. Experts Agree: Cheating Is Not About Sex [VIDEO]

Start slowly. Make a date for sex once a week. Start by holding each other, with no expectation of intercourse. Talk softly to one another about your feelings as you lie down closely and talk about how that feels. One of you may be more ready than the other. Try and wait until you are both ready to move forward. 

It may take several weeks (or even months) of sex dates before you are both on the same page. Spending quality time being intimate in this way will help you to focus on your new erotic life as a couple and help you to talk about what's important for each of you in your new future. Rebuilding Trust After They Cheat

For more information on erotic recovery or to schedule a session with Dr. Tammy Nelson, go to www.drtammynelson.com.

Dr. Tammy Nelson is a sex and relationship expert and the author of Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together. 

For More Juicy Sex Advice:

The Best Sex Advice on YourTango

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tammy Nelson

Counselor/Therapist

Tammy Nelson, PhD, LPC http://www.drtammynelson.com/ email me at tammy@drtammynelson.com

Location: Ridgefield, CT
Credentials: LPC, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Sex Therapy
Other Articles/News by Tammy Nelson:

How Did You Know About His Affair? Maybe You're Psychic

By

Most of us have an intuitive sense that we either dismiss or tell ourselves is just our "imagination." But sometimes that intuition is telling us something important about our relationship; perhaps even insight on whether your partner has or will have an affair.  Intuition is defined as "the ability to understand something immediately, ... Read more

Miserable In Your Marriage? 3 Signs That Divorce Is The Next Step

By

You have been thinking about leaving your marriage for a while. Tossing and turning through each sleepless night, you struggle with one burning question: "Should I leave?" Here's what you need to know before you make that final decision.  First, no one can decide for you. It is only you who can make the choice to dissolve your marriage. ... Read more

Would You Stay Together If Your Partner Cheats?

By

If you have ever been cheated on, you know the pain and heartache that comes from betrayal. The hurt can last a long time, maybe even years.  So why should you stay?  Your friends and family will tell you “once a cheater, always a cheater.” But is that always the case? These days, 65% of couples stay together after an ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular