Monogamy After Infidelity: Is It Possible?


sad couple
Could your relationship survive an affair?

You had some big plans. You wanted a romantic relationship, the kind that lasts forever. And yours was supposed to be special. Sure, lots of people cheat, you thought, but not your partner.  And at first, your relationship seemed perfect. There were flowers, chocolates, cards on Valentines Day. After months of wine and candles and sexy lingerie, the erotic steam dwindled. 

Sex was down to once a week and not necessarily in the way you always dreamed ... but that was to be expected. Everyone says that the longer you're together the less sex you have.  But in the end, you got what lots of your friends got: He had an affair. 


You waited home one night and he was late. He swore to you he missed the bus. The next time you waited at a table at a crowded restaurant and he never showed up. "It's the bus again, I swear," he insisted. 

When you had dinner together the next night, he talked about work, and after eating a full and overly rich meal, he complained about the bill. He said he was tired from the wine,  you went home, had mandatory sex and you both fell asleep. Where was the romance? What happened to the hot sex

In the morning, you smile but you're not happy. You don't feel appreciated or loved, and unfortunately, you take it one step further. You check his texts, his emails and his voice mail messages when he's in the shower. He's definitely cheating.

Fortunately, you have a plan. As soon as he leaves for work, you sign up for a website that gives you advice on how to end a relationship after an affair. That's great and could be an important thing to do, but it's only one option. What if it's not what either of you wants to do? Keep reading ...

Why men cheat from YourTango:

Article contributed by
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Tammy Nelson


Tammy Nelson, PhD, LPC email me at

Location: Ridgefield, CT
Credentials: LPC, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Sex Therapy
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