Is It Wrong To Acknowledge Single Moms?
According to the National Center for Fathering, statistics show that "more than 20 million children live in a home without the physical presence of a father." Yet here we are still debating about whether or not it is appropriate to have greeting cards that are geared towards wishing single moms a Happy Father’s Day. Is it just me, or are we missing the bigger picture here?
To all of the amazing and wonderful dads out there, let me be the first to honor you and say Happy Father’s Day to you! You are what this day is meant for, and I so appreciate all that you do. However, there are many fathers out there who are not like you, and they are not involved in their children’s lives at all. They are not there physically, emotionally or financially. And in their absence, it is the single mom who has to take on all of those things by herself.
I heard one man give his commentary regarding the controversy of Father’s Day cards for single moms, and he said that there is no way that a woman can be both a mother and a father and that Father’s Day should only acknowledge fathers on this day. He went on to say that women are more nurturing and more emotional while men are more logical and much stronger than women both physically and emotionally, such as when it comes to things like dealing with stress. He felt that men deal with stress a lot better than women. He also said that men are protectors of the household and the providers and that women are not capable of doing those things.
Excuse me, but how am I not capable of being the provider of my household because the last time that I checked I am the only one providing for my household. And God forbid if something were to happen, I have no choice but to be the protector of my household. When I got married and my ex-husband and I decided to have a child, I didn’t say to myself, “You know what, someday I want to be a single mom and do all of this all by myself!" That wasn’t my goal in life, but that’s how things turned out. But for someone to say that I am not capable of being the provider of my household, when I bust my butt to do the best that I can each and every day for my daughter is a complete slap in the face.
Obviously, I am not saying that I am a father, because biologically that is impossible, but what my feelings are regarding this issue is that we are indeed taking on both roles as mother and father. We are there to nurture and love and to be there emotionally for our children. We are also the providers and protectors of our children. We are taking on those responsibilities that the father, who is not there, is supposed to take on. Are we doing it perfectly? Absolutely not! No one, whether they are a mother or father, is perfect. But we are doing the best we can with what we have and what we know. Is it the most terrible thing in the world to be acknowledged for this fact? I’m not looking for an award, but is it worthy of outrage and controversy if someone wanted to give me a card for doing the things that my ex-husband has decided that he does not want to do as a father?
Should we be taking the time to focus on this or should we be looking at why the situation has gotten to the point where people feel it is necessary to have greeting cards for single moms on Father’s Day?
For all of the amazing things that you do, Happy Father’s Day to all of those who deserve to be acknowledged on this day.
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