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How to help yourself through this harrowing time.
By Suzy Brown
Last updated on Mar 14, 2024
You certainly took your wedding vows seriously. You promised in front of family and friends that you would love, honor, and cherish your husband until one of you died. But it didn't happen. Your kids need you to be strong so you can help them get through this earth-shattering time. But what does that mean for you when can barely accept it yourself? The pain is unbearable, and shame spills out when you have to admit to anyone that your marriage is over. Your feelings are a mix of emotions, all coming at you at once. Not only are you feeling a desperate sadness that's hard to describe, but you’re also beginning to feel a fury that you couldn’t have imagined before. There are feelings of guilt and failure. Who on the planet are you not letting down?
The only option out of your despair is to accept what has happened and move on with your life. To make that happen there are five beliefs you have to adopt to free you from the clutches of the past and steady your heart in the truth of what’s to come. Make these your morning affirmations to center your day and revisit them whenever you feel your path is tipping away from you.
When your divorce feels overwhelming, try these 5 small affirmations:
1. Today, I will give up my misery marathon and choose to live in faith that my life, my future, and my children are being taken care of
Understand that everything is going to work out for you in your favor. If it doesn't feel like it now, just cling to the hope that one day it will.
2. Today I will give up being “Boss of the Universe” and take care of this one day and all that it brings to me
Your focus will be on the joys the day brings, not your past struggles or fears about the future. Today you will live in this moment and treasure it.
3. Today I will give up focusing on people and things that I cannot control
Understand that the only thing you have control over is yourself.
4. Today I will stop obsessing about anything that I cannot change
Feeling the obsessive need to be in control of everything is valid, but it will get you nowhere. You cannot change some things, and that is okay. Let it go.
5. Today, I will resist trying to fix everything for everybody else and work on getting better myself
Most of the time that means getting help and staying on the path of doing the next right thing for yourself and your family.
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Suzy Brown is an author, mentor, teacher, divorce coach, and the founder of Midlife Divorce Recovery.