"I believe that everyone is capable of having a fulfilling and loving relationship, and that it starts with being Loveable. Being loveable is a three-fold process - being able to love another fully, allowing someone to completely love you, while loving and honoring yourself" - Suzanne Muller
About Suzanne Muller-Heinz
The dating scene can be a maze. Sometimes it takes having a guide and a powerful support system as you maneuver through to your phenomenal love life. What makes me unique is that I focus on you following your heart, trusting your instincts, and honoring yourself.
After two broken engagements and eight years of serial dating, I realized that there was an easier way. I have uncovered some proven methods and techniques to make dating fun and enjoyable. Through them, you can receive what you truly desire, be comfortable in your own skin, and develop the skills to have a lasting and loving relationship.
When I was single and searching, I experienced the best and the worst that the dating scene had to offer. You name it, and I’ve probably been through it! I loved the beginning of the dating stage. It was exciting, and I was addicted to that euphoric feeling. Most of the time, things started fast and faded quickly. Either the men left, bolting and disappearing, or I ran before they could leave. I suffered from thinking I had it all together, when I didn’t. My dating life felt like a sinking ship, because I had to start over with someone else time and time again. This vicious circle became exhausting and unfulfilling. Something had to change.
I knew I had plenty to offer but I couldn’t quite tap into who I was authentically and stand for myself. I certainly didn’t understand how to let someone love me. After some hard soul-searching, I went on a mission to become loveable. Being loveable is about being able to continually love and honor myself, receive love from another person, and love that person fully.
I finally figured out this formula for myself and am thrilled to shout out that I am in a loving, healthy relationship. As of May, 2014, I am married to the love of my life. Our relationship is beyond anything that I could have ever imagined before this journey began, and it’s worth everything I went through. I now teach professional singles how to be adored, cherished, and loved for who they are. I show them how to love someone else, while speaking their truth and honoring themselves. I wrote Loveable: 21 Practices for Being In a Loving & Fulfilling Relationship to share some of what I’ve uncovered in my personal journey. I also co-authored Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life.
Suzanne Muller-Heinz Success Stories
Why Working On You First Is A Big Key To Trusting Another Again
Women starting over
enny and her man ask that their photo not be published yet. Her journey to this wonderful man is worth telling. You will see why!more
“My sessions with Suzanne started off having nothing to do with dating men. I knew I had some work to do on me before I was ready to let someone in, so we spent the first couple of months just working on my relationship with myself. The tipping point for me was learning about forgiveness. I had no idea how important forgiveness was! So before I, and Suzanne, gave me the green light to start dating I needed to immerse myself in forgiveness. I knew that forgiveness was the only way to remove the dark cloud that hung over my heart. That dark cloud of anger was in the way, which meant there was no room for anyone to get in.
I had a lot of forgiving to do! First up, me. I had to forgive myself for all of the bad choices I’ve made in relationships. Whether that choice was the person or the choices I made within the walls of those relationships. We went through each relationship one by one clearing out any left over negative feelings and forgave each one of them. It was liberating. I was able to clear a space for good things to come in; I was able to open my heart. No more anger.
My first crack at letting someone in was a disaster! What a gut check that was. I learned quickly that I couldn’t let just anyone in. The man I let in needs to be deserving of my trust. That’s when we honed in on what I call phase 2: The fulfillment list! I had a very short fulfillment list before my brush with disaster boy. So Suzanne and I got real with my fulfillment list and that’s when everything changed. I refined it, added to it, changed it. Soon enough I met someone who inspired me to add even more to that list. He showed me, without even realizing it, that there is more and there is better. And he tells me all the time that I deserve this and I believe him. This is a man who is deserving of my trust.
I am finally able to open my heart and together our willingness to be brave and vulnerable and to trust one another is what sets this relationship apart. I have found someone who communicates with me on a level that I require and he challenges me to do the same. A year ago I would not have been ready for this, now I am.” -Jenny
Tanking Relationship? How to Restart And Have It Work With An Ex
Women in complicated relationships
This couple has asked me to keep their identities hidden for now, and happy they are willing to contribute their bumpy to beautiful story with us.more
“James and I were at a dead end, namely my dead end. You see James was separated but not divorced and was somewhat unreliable. There was love but little trust, connection that was matched by frustration and joy met by tears and anger mixed with passion.
As a result, I hit a wall and threw up my hands up in despair, and we went our separate ways. I had to cut ties to honor myself even though we loved each other.
So having tried to be out of love, and tired of trying, thankfully Suzanne came into my life. She was the obvious choice being so in love herself, and oozing the positive vibes of love, happiness and harmony.
I took a series of coaching sessions. The first one I went through an exercise from the book, and I cried buckets and buckets and buckets. And of course, I talked about James. The next session, more clearing, then 3rd session, what do I want?
I realized that James was what I wanted, but the behaviour was not. The conversations with James began again. What were we committed to? What had to change for us to work? What did we both want more of and what we were prepared to do or not do to have it?
After finding a great quote that says “the grass is greener where you water,” and discussing the messaging of dating with James, we started back at the beginning with dating and a clean slate.
Our relationship is sometimes joyous; sometimes hard; but we both wanted it so we persisted. There were times of painful honesty, tears and anger, and also laughs, fun and love. But mostly, we are committed to each other and having a relationship that works for both of us!
We have now been back together now for eight months, closer than we’ve ever been and happy planning our future. The path would have never been this clear if it hadn’t been for Suzanne, and I’m so happy. “ -Jane
Single Mom Putting Love Off For Child. How She Found The Balance
Women who are single parents
"I really longed for a relationship and at the same time I just couldn’t see it realistically happening…I’m a single mom with a full time job and a lot of other commitments…how was I supposed to fit a relationship into that equation? I also felt that being in a relationship would absolutely jeopardize my daughter’s happiness and well being. After all, in the past I would get completely engrossed in a new relationship and let all kinds of important commitments fall to the side – I just couldn’t afford to let that happen with my daughter. It felt safer to just wait for romance/relationship to occur once my daughter was grown and out on her own. While this plan seemed solid and the only option available to me for nearly eleven years, I harbored a lot of resentment towards others couples as I suppressed sharing love and intimacy.more
Now with a clear and clean slate to work with I created just connecting with someone…if it lead to a relationship then great…if not, great. The important part was that I saw who I was going to be for myself, for a possible love interest, and most importantly for my. I gave myself a new outlook on love that I could step into. I’m now in a relationship that has continued to grow and blossom for over 2 years, and we are now living together. I continue to use the techniques I practiced in Suzanne’s workshop nearly three years ago to grow my relationship and steer it in directions that inspire me, my boyfriend and my daughter. I am truly grateful and free to express myself fully in this area of my life.” –Shannon
Starting Fast Then Fading. How Believing & Determination Paid Off
"Most of my dates would start off fast and then fade quickly, and I seemed to date a lot of unavailable men. I only dreamed of being adored by someone, and was starting to lose faith that their were men that wanted to be in a healthy relationship.more
There was a gentleman I started dating just as we were wrapping up our coaching. I stayed intentional in keeping it light, letting him lead, JennJimBlogpicand believing it could happen for me. I now believe!!
Well, I can’t say it is merely coincidence that the guy I started seeing a couple months ago has turned into a ‘keeper’. And, he’s all the things I didn’t believe existed for me: he adores me, wants to protect me, is the alpha (former military guy, so that helps) is uber-bright, and we love lots of similar things. He’s asked me what my dream trip would be, and is already plotting how to make it happen. And I LET him. It’s a weird feeling for me to let him handle life. But it works really well!
Thank you for helping me open up to possibility! I may not have believed you when we worked through it, but somewhere, you got through to me. So, thank you!” –Jennifer
4 Online Dating Sites. He Shifted His Thoughts & She Found Him.
Men seeking a relationship
“I’d gone through a long stretch where I met lots of interesting women, and went out on a lot of first dates, but nothing developed past that. There always seemed to be some issue that got in the way, and it started to get old pretty quickly. I wasn’t having much trouble meeting people and getting dates, but it just didn’t seem like anyone was looking for the same thing I was. I was sure that I was looking for a long-term relationship, and I was frustrated that many of the women I went out with were not really in a place to be able to do that, for one reason or another. I was given the typical, “just out of a relationship, and not ready to get involved again,” or “the chemistry just wasn’t there,” or “we’re not a great match,” and most of the other usual s reasons when I was told no. It was rare that I would get past a first date, regardless of how well the date itself went, so it really became difficult to keep putting myself out there in the face of this.more
Suzanne immediately made an impact by helping me change my mindset. While I tried very hard to not get caught up in the “here we go again” syndrome, it was a natural response to my lack of results. She helped me design a dating mantra, where I adjusted my attitude and demanded better! We went from “I hope this one gives me a fair chance” to “I’m going to wow her, and she can’t wait to see me again!” This change helped me stay positive and open to new possibilities. Not long after this, a woman contacted me on match.com. We had so much in common just from our profiles. After a couple of weeks we talked on the phone one night, which made her nervous and in reality, it was our first date. The next night we met for our date, and everything just clicked right away for both of us. There was no doubt that we were both on the same page about many things, and the attraction was definitely there! We have been together now for over ten months now, and our relationship is fantastic. It feels so much different that even my previous relationships have, it feels wonderful. I have Suzanne to thank! And now we’re getting married in May 2014!!!” –David
Frustrated And Lonely To Long-Term Girlfriend And Very Happy
Men seeking a relationship
“I was frustrated. I was lonely. I get all kinds of referrals in my business, but why aren’t the people I know referring their attractive, single friends to me? What’s wrong with me?more
And in my imagination if I did find a girlfriend, she wouldn’t really be what I wanted, but what I thought I deserved – related to how I felt about myself.
Suzanne helped me put my relationship with my ex girlfriend in the past – freeing me up to live without that constraint. She helped me explore the possibilities and benefits of a loving, working relationship. She had me describe the characteristics of the woman I would want to be with and what love is for me. Then she helped me get out of my own way – my arrogance, fears and concerns to make having a relationship even possible. We also worked on me being straight in my communication.
Wow! After working with Suzanne, I went from having no dates to four possible interests -including a referral from friends. And boy were my socks knocked off. I was blown away – here is this one woman who is everything I wanted. Smart, educated, beautiful, classy, articulate, emotionally mature, adventurous and fun! It was scary how close she was to what I had written down. What also shifted was my communication. I was holding back, and when I settled in to being myself and bringing my strong communication skills to the table my confidence soared and now my new girlfriend loves me for me. This is the real deal!” –Jeff
Queen Of First Dates To Finding That Missing Piece & Love Success
“I’ve been married, had a couple of 6-month relationships (one of them quite disastrous), and I was the queen of first dates. The latter rarely turned into a second or even a third date, guys would be very fascinated by and even smitten with me at first. Then very quickly they lost interest.more
I just couldn’t fathom why? Why could no guy see what a truly cool, fun and beautiful gal I was?!? Well, to be honest, I was quite aware that none of my dates had one of my non-negotiables, the insatiable urge to travel and explore the world the way I do, to want to live and work abroad, but I was willing to forego this must-have, just in order to finally have a normal relationship again.
In short, I was stuck in my dating patterns and frustrated with dating in general. It was pure coincidence that I found Suzanne Muller and learned about her services as a dating and love life coach. As they say, when the student is ready the teacher will appear… We started working together in April 2013, talking, doing the exercises of her book ‘Lovable’, her always challenging me to my core. Tears were flowing! Suzanne’s advice is very no-nonsense (for instance, she advises against playing by ‘The Rules’, which I’ve always abhorred) and straightforward. She helped me tremendously clearing up my baggage. I started decluttering my brain of my negative beliefs, and getting very clear on what kind of man and relationship I really wanted (yes, I wanted a MAN and a GREAT relationship!). I finally started regaining my confidence about men, dating and love.
A couple of weeks after my last session with Suzanne, three and a half months after our first session, I flew across the big pond to spend my yearly big vacation in my beloved San Francisco. That first night in town I went on a first date with Eduardo, whom I had met on an online dating platform about the same time I had my last session with Suzanne.
Everything flowed from the beginning. Talking and laughing for days on end. We immediately were a couple! Four months after our fun first date Eduardo put all his belongings into storage, came to live with me in Switzerland for three months, where we decided to move to Istanbul for four months in order to see where life would take us next. I’m finally living my life as a modern gypsy again, just as I how I always wanted to do, but this time with my fun team and playmate by my side. I couldn’t be happier to sharing my life with my incredible modern vagabond companion.” -Sarah
Hadn't Dated In 11 Years, Prepared & Met Her True Love
Women starting over
“After 11 years of not dating and blocked to even consider dating again by the past, I said ‘yes’ to entrusting Suzanne with my heart. We started working together in February 2013 and began the process to open my very closed down romantic heart and be “ready” and available again. I’ve always been a very loving woman, but something was extremely clogged, and I was very uneasy with men who wanted to get close.more
I met a few people with my new and fabulous online dating profile, but no one floated my boat. It definitely was good practice though to get on the dating court. Over time I learned how to identify a healthy relationship and acquired the skills to be the kind of partner a man would look for and desire.
In October 2013, I was picking up computer to be fixed, and the man whose computer I was picking up, who works in another department, asked if he could take me out to lunch or dinner. He is someone I’ve always liked but never thought of as a possible partner. I gladly accepted his invitation. On our first date he held out his arm, and as I slipped my arm into his, I felt so loved and cared for. In the past I would not have thought twice about saying I didn’t need his help to walk to the car.
Sparks flew and quickly! We fell in love in less than a week and things are still going strong. Why? I think because working with Suzanne unleashed my heart to exude love, even at work and with everyone, and this very smart man could feel that there was something ‘special’ about me. He said he’d been wanting to ask me out for years but had never been brave enough to ask me earlier.
I didn’t expect finding the love of my life to happen so quickly! Or so easily. It has been an amazing few months! We’re talking about OUR future together. I showed him the list of attributes I had created with Suzanne. He is even more than I ever dreamed was possible… We’ve started a list of places and things we’re going to do together. I really am so thankful for all the work Suzanne helped me do to be able to appreciate who he is.” –Sue
Divorced: How She Found Fun & Freedom With Dating & Got Married!
"In 1987 I married the man I thought I’d be with for the rest of my life. In 14 years of marriage we had two beautiful girls and it appeared that everything was perfect. In 2001 he left – he wasn’t happy and didn’t love me the way a wife should be loved. I was devastated! This was not what I signed up for! What about ‘till death do us part’? What was wrong with me? Once the shock wore off I started to realize just how numb I’d become. This was not a loving, connected, passionate relationship – we were basically roommates with benefits and we were not going to stay together just for the sake of our kids. The divorce was amicable and I am glad to say that we remain good friends to this day and he’s a loving father which is a blessing unto itself.more
So now what? I’m 40 years old and alone with two small children and basically no life other than being a mom. Thank goodness for my old friends (and new friends to come) and counseling. My friends took me out and introduced me to country dancing and the counseling helped me to see that there was really nothing ‘wrong’ with me. Soon after, I had a couple of boyfriends – the first relationship was for about eight months and the next was for three and a half years. Nice guys, just not ‘the’ one. After that I dated here and there and went for a stretch of time where I didn’t date at all. I just didn’t want to mess with it anymore. I didn’t even realize just how resigned and cynical I was becoming about dating and men.
Then came Suzanne’s workshop. Within the first five minutes I knew what was in between me and dating. The workshop was fun and creative and it gave me a whole new world for me to live into! Afterwards, I was actually looking forward to going on a date so I started looking into internet dating and when I went out dancing I had so much freedom around men. Fun and play were present for the first time.
In February 2011, I was out dancing when someone asked me to dance – I had no idea that this would be the man of my dreams! Because I now knew exactly who I was and what I wanted in a partner and in a relationship I was able to just open up and be with him. It was magical – so much so that we were married 6 months later!! I am truly blessed to have such an amazing man in my life and I know I wouldn’t have this if it wasn’t for that little few hour workshop I took of Suzanne’s where I got all that ‘junk’ out of the way so I could actually SEE him. I will be forever grateful!” –Donna