Wise Moves When Your Partner Threatens to Break Up with You


Wise Moves When Your Partner Threatens to Break Up with You
How to not make "I'm going to break up with you" relationship threats even worse!

John doesn't know what to believe anymore.

He has actually become used to his girlfriend's threats to break up with him. It seems like every time they have an argument or she gets irritated with him, she declares that she's going to end their relationship and that she's “done.”

This is upsetting for John to hear and the first 4 or 5 times she threatened to break up with him, he did everything he could to calm her down and make everything okay between them again.

What usually happens is the argument dies out or John gives in to what she wants and they return to normal. It all feels to him like a game. His girlfriend seems to pull out the “I'm breaking up with you” card whenever she's unhappy with him. She knows that he'll jump and do whatever she wants him to do.

Last night it was John who was “done” with his girlfriend's threats. She was upset that he planned to spend the holidays with his family instead of with her and said, “If you leave me alone for the holidays, you might come back and find yourself alone and single!”

John rolled his eyes at her and left the room. He's not sure what he'll say when they talk again.

We've all been in the heat of the moment when angry words are said or actions are taken that we later regret. Sometimes in a love relationship or marriage, one person gets so upset he or she will threaten to end the relationship. In that contentious moment, it feels like what the person truly wants to do. Later, once both have cooled off and are seeing things more clearly, breaking up isn't so appealing.

This leads to even more confusion and disconnection.

When your partner claims that he or she will break up with you and then doesn't actually end the relationship, you might feel unsettled, angry and wondering what your relationship status actually is.

As with John's relationship, your partner might have a habit of threatening to break up with you when things get tense or difficult. This can feel like a cruel game that nobody wins.

There are many moves you might make if your partner threatens to break up with you. Here are a few we do NOT recommend...

-- Don't call your partner's bluff about breaking up unless you are ready to really follow through.
-- Don't call your partner a liar or other names that might pop into your head out of frustration.
-- Don't ignore it or pretend that the threat wasn't made.
-- Don't leave and then go hook up with your ex or someone else to get back at your partner.
-- Don't complain about how “crazy” your partner is to your friends.

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins


Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.


Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

Is Plastic Surgery A Bad Thing For You And Your Relationship?


How much money would you spend and to what degree of discomfort and possible pain would you go to in order to please your partner or attract relationships? This is a question that many of us have grappled with at one point or another in our adult lives. Sometimes, the imperative to change doesn't even come from the one we love. It can be an internal ... Read more

8 Reasons Why You Should Have More Sex If You're Over 50


Aging can be a pretty serious business...but it doesn't have to be! It's inevitable that changes happen in your life and your body as you get older. Kids grow up and start having kids of their own. You retire or get closer to retirement. These are just two radical departures from what you've known, and there are more. Your body changes. Signs of ... Read more

3 Ways Your 'Better Half' Is Ruining Your Relationship


"Cheers to the perfect couple!" Heart-felt words like these can actually doom a relationship. Did you know that your well-meaning congratulations to a new couple could solidify dangerous myths about love? Beliefs about relationships were the focus of a recent study conducted by researchers at the University of Toronto and the results ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Most Popular