Felicia cannot believe that her husband went through her cell phone records. Last night, he met her at the door with her cell phone (she'd forgotten it at home) and an angry look on his face.
Felicia's husband, Rick, was particularly upset about the frequent calls and texts that she exchanges with a guy she's been friends with since college. She and this male friend have remained close all of these years. Rick has known about her male friend and he's never made a big deal about their friendship before. The Kiss Of Death For Relationships Revealed!
Before now, that is...
When you live with a jealous spouse, life can be frustrating and exasperating. You may feel that your partner's jealousy gets in the way time and time again. What can be done when it's your partner who seems to be frequently controlled by jealousy?
Contrary to popular belief, there's actually a lot that you can do. The one thing you cannot do is "solve" your mate's jealousy problem for him or her. As much as you'd like to force your partner to just "get over being jealous," this is nearly impossible.
However, you can set boundaries with your spouse that will support his or her efforts to overcome jealousy. These boundaries can also help you two to move closer together again. Can You Live With Your Partner's Quirks?
Here are three useful tips for setting boundaries with your jealous spouse:
1. Set boundaries with an awareness of your own tendencies. You know best if you truly are innocent in this situation. Be very honest with yourself and own up to it if you are behaving in ways that could be triggering jealousy in your partner and undermining trust in your relationship.
This isn't about you "taking the blame." Instead, this is about you recognizing any tendencies that you have that might be playing a role in the tension and conflict that's present in your marriage. Do you like to flirt with others? As harmless and innocent as your motives may be to you, it's probable that your mate does not see this as harmless or innocent. Is Your Career Killing Your Marriage?
Do you appreciate looking at and maybe commenting on attractive people's bodies? You may know that you're only looking, but your partner does not know this. When you look "too long" or "too longingly" at others, it can most certainly lead to jealousy and insecurity within your mate.
You may not even be aware of all of the ways that you are contributing to the jealousy. Take some time to really evaluate your habits and see if there are ways you might be fueling jealousy in your mate without meaning to.
Felicia can see that, to Rick, her friendship with her college buddy might appear to be more than it really is. She admits to herself that she tends to turn to her male friend first with requests for advice and a shoulder to cry on.