Is My Partner's Friend A Threat To Our Relationship?

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Is My Partner's Friend A Threat To Our Relationship?
Jealousy advice to help you know if you should be worried about your partner's close friendship.

Can a heterosexual man and woman truly just be friends?

If you are in a heterosexual relationship with someone who has a close friend of the opposite sex you might be grappling with this gnawing question.

 

Of course you want your mate to have friends and people in his or her life to count on and be close to in addition to you. At the same time, nobody wants to be taken for a fool. You might feel like you have to stay on alert-- What if your partner's friend has ulterior motives? What if there are yet to be realized romantic feelings between your mate and this friend?


The question in many people's minds is how possible it really is for two heterosexual people of the opposite sex to be just friends. Is this just a situation fated to lead to betrayal and hurt?

If you are jealous of your partner's friend, you are probably feeling confusion and you might even be torn up inside. Your jealous feelings are likely adding to the discord between yourself and your partner. He or she may seem defensive and impatient if you've voiced your concerns about the friendship.

Even if you haven't communicated your worries to your partner, your inner jealousy and fears are probably contributing to a wall between the two of you. Either way, you and your partner are not moving closer together, you are being driven apart!

We'll address this consummate question right now, “Can a heterosexual man and woman truly just be friends”...

So, can they?

We believe that yes, it is possible and that it happens all of the time. With honesty, openness and clarity, this type of friendship can and does occur.

If you are heterosexual and you think about your own life, there are probably many, many people you interact with and whom you call friends who are members of the opposite sex.

You can laugh, have fun, play sports with, work together, even hang out and just have a cup of coffee together AND not cross the line between friend into the realm of romantic, sexual or sensual partner.

As you probably know, there are some people with whom you feel a natural camaraderie. It's enjoyable to be with these particular people and you value the relationship you have with them.

At the same time, the relationship does not reach an intensity or intimacy that you have in your love relationship or marriage.

You just don't feel the same way about these people as you do about your mate.
However, emotional affairs and relationships are very real and can wreak havoc on a relationship. This makes the whole issue a little less clear in some cases.

For example, if you find yourself regularly sharing personal information with your friend and withholding that information from your mate, that may be a sign that your friendship is more than just friendship.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
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