How To Make The First Move

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How To Make The First Move [EXPERT]
Whether you want to initiate a kiss or take your relationship to the next level, here's how.

"He never calls!" Jeanette mournfully tells her friends. She and Rick have been dating for over month now. They have a great time when they're out together, and he recently spent the weekend at her apartment.

The trouble with Rick is that he is hard to read. He tells Jeanette how gorgeous she is and how much fun she is to be around, especially in bed, but then he rarely calls or texts her. She knows how busy Rick is with work and doesn't want to seem needy, but she's confused about where this is going ... or if it's going anywhere.

Jeanette's friends understand exactly where she's coming from because they've been there too. They advise her to just be patient and see what Rick does next.

Yes, it's the 21st century and yes, plenty of women are in this frustrating situation. While a lot has changed in terms of gender dynamics in heterosexual love relationships, a lot has stayed the same. Many heterosexual women still leave it to the man to make the first move, whether it's asking her out on their first date, having sex for the first time or moving their relationship to the next level of commitment.

This isn't always the case, but frequently it is. The idea of approaching a guy she's interested in may seem somehow pushy, forward or even slutty to a woman. She might not buy into traditional gender roles, but it just feels odd or she doesn't want to risk getting rejected. So instead, she leaves it to him to ask her. This leaves both women and men in an awkward position.

The woman might get impatient and wish that the guy would pick up on her flirting, cues and not-so-subtle hints. The man might feel irritated by her unwillingness to be upfront about what she wants. (After all, he could be resistant to take a risk too!) He might even feel manipulated by her hints or passive aggressive behaviors designed to steer him in a particular direction. 3 Signs You're In An Abusive Relationship

Women, you don't have to hold yourself back around a guy! If you choose, you can make the first move in a wise way.

1. Be clear about what you want. Internal confusion and insecurity are two reasons why women (and men) don't take the next step in starting a relationship or deepening the commitment in an existing relationship. Especially in the early stages of a relationship, there are lots of questions.

  • "Does he feel the same way?"
  • "Will she like me after getting to know me?"
  • "Am I ready for this?"

More dating advice from YouTango Experts:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
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