After Infidelity: Is It Too Soon For A Robsten Reunion?

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After Infidelity: Is It Too Soon For A Robsten Reunion? [EXPERT]
Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart have reportedly reconciled ... but is it too soon?

Headlines over the past few days report that "Twilight" couple Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are possibly back together again after Stewart's much-talked about affair which precipitated their breakup. Now, it seems that not only are Stewart and Pattinson back together again, they might even be living together again — just as they did pre-breakup.

The question on everyone's mind is this: Is it too soon for them to not only reunite, but to jump back into the level of commitment they had before?

 

We can't know what is truly going on with Stewart and Pattinson's relationship and we certainly don't know how it will all turn out for the couple. What we do know that this dilemma is very common. 22 Ways Couples Can Overcome Infidelity

There's no doubt that an affair leaves a lot of destruction in its wake. When one person (or both) lies and cheats, trust is shattered. The person cheated on feels hurt, betrayed, rejected, angry and more. The one who cheated may feel guilt, regret or possibly justified.

Some will give a cheating partner another chance, while others immediately pack their bags, move out and end the relationship. For those who broke up, after calming down and many second thoughts, texts and phone calls are made, the couple decides to give their relationship another try.

But how soon is too soon? If you're in a similar situation and you and your partner rush a reunion and try to act as if the affair and breakup never happened, you're most likely setting yourselves up for disappointment and more pain.

It's too soon to get back together again if: you aren't sure if the affair is truly over; you two haven't yet really talked about the affair; you look at your partner and can only think about him or her cheating; your anger about the affair (or other issues) is overwhelming; and/or you believe you can step back into your pre-affair lives.

Only you can make the decision about whether or not it's wise for you to get back together with your ex who cheated. Only you can know what's "too soon." We encourage you to take the time you need to make a conscious decision about what is in your best interests and, if you do reunite, about how quickly or slowly to move.

Four signs that you may be ready to reunite after infidelity include:

1. You've learned from what happened. What many people fail to understand is that in the majority of cases, bad relationship habits preceded the affair.

When we advise you to learn from what happened, we aren't only talking about your partner's decision to cheat. If you want to get back together again and stay happily together, you're going to have to look at some uncomfortable patterns that are beyond what your partner did.

More infidelity advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
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