Feeling Needy? 4 Attention-Getters Your Partner Can't Ignore
By Susie And Otto Collins. Posted on .
If you walked into the room completely naked, your partner STILL wouldn't pay attention to you!
This is how it feels for many people.
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It can seem like everything and everyone else are far more interesting and important to your partner than you are.
the smartphone
the game on tv
texts from friends
Facebook
work
the kids
pets
parents
Your partner might have a demanding job, hefty responsibilities and also a challenge staying focused. This can leave you feeling last on his or her priority list. It can also lead you to act needy.
When you're needy, you call or text your partner frequently, especially if you don't get an instant reply. You are hyper-aware of any mood changes in your partner and take it personally if he or she is grumpy and irritable. You might often ask questions like, “Is everything okay?” and “Do you love me?”
You probably also get on your partner's nerves!
Being needy can come out in different ways, but the effects are the same...
Your partner shuts down or ignores you even more than before. You end up feeling more alone and unimportant.
Recognize it when you're feeling and acting needy in your relationship. Stop the needy-spiral that takes you further and further away from creating the kind of relationship you desire.
Try these 4 attention-getters that WILL get your partner to notice...
#1: Know what you want and need.
Identify what it is that you want in a relationship. Go general and think about the qualities you'd like to experience or experience more often with your love. Acknowledge it if there are some of these qualities already alive in your relationship-- this is a place to build from.
It's also important to distinguish wants from what you need. Your needs are those non-negotiables that you won't compromise on. These are the things that might cause you to re-assess whether or not you'll stay or leave the relationship. Things like monogamy, honesty and respect might be on your list of non-negotiable needs.
Remember, some people's needs look like other people's wants. The point here is to get clear about what the difference is for you.
#2: Fulfill yourself.
When you feel needy, chances are there is something “off” or empty that you want taken care of. It's painful to be in this place and it's understandable that you look to your partner to make things better.
This is a lot of pressure to put on him or her!
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When you feel unfulfilled, it's not only unfair to expect your partner to fix it for you, it's also impossible. The most loving and attentive person in the world cannot make another person feel loved, special and fulfilled...if that person doesn't already feel that way.
Start taking back responsibility for your well being and for how you feel. If you are dissatisfied or feel like your life (or self) is lacking in some way, look first to you for the improvement.
