Your Husband Or Your Kids? Why Not Both?
By Susie And Otto Collins. Posted on .
![Your Husband Or Your Kids? Why Not Both? [EXPERT]](http://images.tangomag.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/node-full/image_blog/ytfamily.jpg "Your Husband Or Your Kids? Why Not Both? [EXPERT]")
Kelly first held her baby in her arms, she felt so blessed. Adding to the love and happiness that she already shared with her husband Chris was this little perfect being. Now, Kelly and Chris' first child is in kindergarten and their younger child is almost ready for pre-school.
Neither Kelly nor Chris can believe how fast their kids have grown, and neither can understand how their marriage went from blissful to painful and belligerent. Kelly and Chris have the same argument over and over again. They try to shield their children from the conflict, but it's getting difficult to do that.
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At issue for Chris is that he feels neglected and taken for granted by Kelly. He loves their children deeply, but he wants more one-on-one time with Kelly — especially more time for sex. Who Should Be The Priority: Your Husband Or Your Child?
Kelly doesn't want to miss out on any precious moments with their children. They grow so fast! She also misses connecting with Chris and wants her marriage to thrive, and she ends up feeling torn between the two. Kelly feels like she has to choose between her husband and her children, and she is stressed out and angry a lot of the time.
The decision to become parents is a big one, to say the least. Many couples consider the financial responsibilities that raising children entails, and many also ask themselves if they are emotionally ready to be parents. What takes a lot of couples by surprise is this sense that they have to choose to either be focused on their children or on one another and their relationship.
This tug-of-war happens internally for most. It is not something that is obvious in the minds of parents or in their conversations. But, the effects of this impossible decision are very apparent.
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Maybe you're grappling with this too. You can see it on the tired face of your partner (and your own face in the mirror), as both of you feel neglected and taken for granted. You can hear it in your tone of voice when you're resentful or angry because you and your partner haven't made time for a date night in oh-so very long.
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