How Couples Can Stay Friends After Divorce


Miranda and Orlando put up a united front for their son, Flynn
Can exes really be friends? How do you go about this when you have children and are divorced?

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are putting on a united front and pretending to be friends after their break up, which was just announced last week. Whether they can be friends or not at this stage seems a bit premature. My guess is that really one of them is open to reconciliation, and the friendship issue isn't really the dynamic we are witnessing. I suspect one of them broke up with the other, and one of them is in shock. Hard to tell which one did the dumping because she has her arm in his while they stroll around town, but then she turns her cheek to him when he leans in for a kiss. 

With Orlando and Miranda released a joint statement saying they are going to be friends, but I think one of them could be playing nice because they didn't want out. Whether they get back together or remain apart is irrelevant to most but them, but can they be friends long term? Can exes really be friends, and if so, how do you go about this when you have children and are divorcing? Read on to learn 5 ways you can act to achieve a friendship with your ex. 

  1. Always speak kindly to each other no matter what happened. Hopefully, one day it will be so far in the rear view mirror it won't matter. Play nice.
  2. Don't bring any other romantic interest around your ex or the children at this point. This means no sharing of your new single life on Facebook or social media at all. Feeling like you are going to be replaced could cause permanent hard feelings with the children and your spouse.  
  3. Focus on your children together at this time during all the turmoil just like Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr appear to do when strolling with their child. Make it about the children. After all, the well being of your children is your new common goal in life that you both share. 
  4. Do not share details of the split with friends or even close family for awhile. At least not until the both of you emerge on the other end as friends. It makes reconciliation harder, so you don't want to burn bridges you may want to cross again. You might want to go back with that person down the road even though you don't think so now.
  5. Remember success is the best revenge. Keep all your revenge fantasies to yourself, and do not even dream of keying the car. Above all, stay level headed.  Stressful times like this reveal what type of person you really are, and you don't want to be forever known as the "crazy" ex because you are aiming for "my ex who is such a great friend now."

See? Not so hard! And even if you're not close friends, the benefits of a civil breakup will benefit you, your kids and your future. 

More divorce coach advice on YourTango:


Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susan Trombetti


Susan Trombetti

Presenting Sponsor of Balimore Magazine's Top Singles 2013

Presenting Sponsor of What's Up Magazine's Singles for Common Cause 2012/2013

Vip Sponsor for Fashion for a Cause at Porsche 2012/Hospice Cup XXXl sponsor/Hospice Cup Annual Golf Tournament Sponsor 2012




Location: Annapolis, MD
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Susan Trombetti:

5 Things George Clooney Can Teach You About Finding True Love


Over the weekend it came out that George Clooney, the most confirmed bachelor, put a ring on it. So, how can it be that George, who was never going to get married again, suddenly decided he wants to spend the rest of his life with his beautiful lady friend, Amal Alamuddin? Could it be he is having a midlife crisis? Perhaps he was on the rebound from Stacey and ... Read more

Dating Apps That'll Land You A Hot (Valentine's Day) Date


Are you devastated at the thought of spending another Valentine's Day alone? Worse, are you convinced that time has run out for your opportunity to find a date in time for the biggest lovefest of the year? Here's some refreshing news that's decidedly high-tech: dating apps are awesome for all the lonely hearts out there on Valentine's Day. ... Read more

How To Meet The Love of Your Life (This Year!)


Happy New Year to all of you wonderful singles out there! If you didn't get the commitment you felt you deserved in 2013, or if you have vowed to find the love of your life in 2014, let's talk strategy. First, stop beating yourself up: If it was that easy, wouldn't you have done it in 2013 when I suggested it the first time? It's helpful to ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.