Dating Insecurities is not the same thing as dating inhibitions but both scenarios will cause havoc in your love life if practiced on a regular basis. While the two are related, inhibitions can just be lack of experimentation or fear of the unknown. Insecurities can be a lot stronger where help may be needed from a therapist to change the deep rooted problem.
What are some of the more common insecurities within our relationships?
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• Body Image is #1!
• Intellect ~ are we smart enough for them/afraid of saying the wrong things?
• Their career is intimidating ~they are more successful.
• Asking yourself or them why they are with you ~ you don’t feel worthy.
• They more outgoing than you. You feel overlooked in a group.
• They are very attractive to the opposite sex!
• They have a very strong sex drive & you worry they will wander.
On a sexual level if you have had only a few partners in your lifetime, you may feel intimidated with how to make yourself sexier due to your inexperience. There may be a fear of how to initiate something or communicate with your partner between the sheets. This is very common & can be addressed easily if you are with the right partner who cares about you. There will be an openness that encourages you as a couple to experiment comfortably because you are not judging each other.
On the other side, if the only people you have slept with constantly tell you that you need to lose weight or criticize you in the bedroom, this will not only make you feel insecure, it will inhibit you from wanting to be a better lover. A little encouragement goes a long way and if you are continually brow beaten into submission, you are not going to feel confident enough to bring out the tiger that lurks beneath.
In truth & for the most part sex is just the act of sex~ but with the right partner it can be mind blowing & life altering amazing sex! How many times have you talked to your friends about what a good lover someone was, when really it was mostly about how they made you “feel” during your lovemaking?
Humans excel when they are complimented or rewarded with simple acknowledgement.
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Being a controlling person may get you want you want initially but after awhile it will be the demise of your relationship. Many of our choices are a reflection of how our life has turned out so far. Some of us chose a parent figure as a guideline or role model to mold ourselves after. It is a visual behavior or pattern that many people fall into. If you spent much of your younger years being berated by your family or by bullies at school, your self esteem may play a huge part in who you become as an adult. We all need to look into the mirror at ourselves & truly see who we are.
What do we need to do to gain more confidence & lose our inhibitions that have plagued our growth & desires for more fulfillment?