It may be yesterday’s custom, but dating is still alive and well. Perhaps not on college campuses, but, once you exit college and join the real world, you might want a relationship.
Since dating is nothing more than slow-motion relationship development, you are going to have to learn how to do it.
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I’m sure you would like some guidelines. Even if you trust your heart so much that you do not want to hear from those who have been through it all before, it will not hurt to try to profit from their experience.
The first key to dating is non-verbal communication. The less you talk about the date, about your budding relationship, the better everyone will be.
Every woman knows what I am going to say here, but perhaps it is worth saying anyway.
If you are looking for a relationship, dress the part. I am not going to tell you how to dress or how to make yourself up, but if you choose to vamp it up, show a lot of skin, or flash sultry eyes… you are going to be treated accordingly.
If half the room is staring down your blouse or up your skirt, you are not going to impress your date. If you look like you are there to please everyone, he will understand that you do not much care about pleasing him.
If you say you want a relationship and are dressed like a vamp, you are going to confuse yourself and your date.
No good comes from such confusion.
While we are in the realm of the non-verbal, you could do a lot worse than to follow that outmoded book called The Rules.
I know that you are so charming and so beautiful and so liberated that you do not have to follow any antiquated rules. And yet, as I have often seen, if you don’t play by the rules, you are going to be played.
The choice is yours.
Among the rules, you will find this: if you are looking for a relationship you should expect to be asked out a few days earlier. A man who cannot plan a date with you is probably not very interested.
If he asks you out at the last minute or invites himself over at 11:30, he is not looking for a relationship.
He is also disrespecting you. If you allow yourself to be disrespected, you will lose your self-respect.
Among the other non-verbal gestures you should try to master is this one: don’t offer to pay. Yes, I know, men and women are equals; they make similar salaries; they should share everything.
If he can’t afford to take you out, then the chances are good that he is not looking to get involved in a relationship. If he calls at the last minute and asks to come over, think of it as his way of saving money.
As for the verbal part of the date, keep in mind that a date is a conversation. Savvy women can exercise a great deal of control over this conversation, if they know the rules and how it is played.
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You have probably read, on this and other relationship sites, that a date is not an interrogation. Do not ask him probing, intrusive questions.
But, a date is not a pop quiz either. By that I mean that it is better not to ask very many questions at all. The key to seeing how well the date is going-- assuming that you care-- is to see how much information he offers, not how many of your clever trick questions he manages to answer.