Despite the Hearts, Hugs and Kisses…Here's why Celebrating Valentine's Day Might Be a Bad Thing...
So, you’ve picked out the perfect 12 red roses, and scheduled their delivery; dinner reservations are set for 8 o’clock. In the midst of picking out the perfect card for your significant other, you begin to consider everything that you’ve been through together, and there’s no card that really fits your current situation. These days, the happiness you once felt, is peppered with confusion and concerns for your collective future. But, that’s okay.
Ask any committed couple and they will tell you that there are challenges in any relationship, and while Valentine’s Day may seem like the best time to set those wrongs right, here are a few reasons why celebrating Valentine’s Day may not be a good thing.
Reason Number One: Celebrating Valentine's Day can distract you from the issues in your relationship.
If you spend enough time with any one person, the two of you are will have issues. While encountering challenges isn’t a bad thing, Valentine’s Day could provide an unhealthy distraction from the things that the two of you need to work out. The roses and reservations can create a “honeymoon effect,” pushing your challenges to the backburner, only to resurrect themselves at a later date…with a vengeance!
To avoid this: Be honest. Tell your significant other that you know you are having some challenges in the relationship right now, but you wanted to acknowledge this day. Or decide to skip the Valentine’s Day celebration in lieu of some much-needed discussions and resolutions to your issues.
Reason Number Two: Celebrating Valentine's Day could be a sign that your relationship is failing.
Unfortunately for some couples, this is the only day that they spend together. If you find yourself and your significant other becoming two ships that pass in the night, then Valentine’s Day—romantic day that it can be—could be the telltale sign that your relationship is on the rocks. A strong relationship will be a “Valentine’s Day EVERDAY” coupling, with acts of love and adoration occurring regularly, which include spending time together.
To avoid this: Bring this concern to the attention of your significant other. Find out if this is a relationship worth saving by discovering why you have stopped spending non-Valentine’s Day time together. You may be pleasantly surprised at the results.
Reason Number Three: Celebrating Valentine’s Day could reveal to you that the two of you need to re-kindle your passion for each other and your relationship.
Are the roses and reservations the celebratory mainstay? Or, can he or she expect to be surprised on February 14th? If your Valentine's Day is predictable, which means you know exactly what you're going to do; when you're going to do it; and what romantic little trinket you're going to get, then it could me a sign that the romance and the spontaneity has waned.
To avoid this: Do something different. If she expects roses delivered by the local florist, then consider becoming her favorite delivery guy and bring a candy bouquet while donning a snazzy tuxedo. On the other hand, if he doesn’t expect anything for Valentine’s Day, then plan or buy something special that only he could love and enjoy.
Reason Number Four. Celebrating Valentine’s Day may unleash an unnecessary spirit of competition in to your relationship.
Contrary to popular beliefs, there are no winners and losers in a relationship…EVER! Trying to “outdo” your significant other in a Valentine’s Day showdown is not only ridiculous, but pointless. If you are choosing to celebrate this “holiday,” then whether or not you bought the biggest teddy bear, the largest gift pack, or booked the best weekend getaway is not an issue. If you had a great time together…enjoyed your respective gifts together…and shared your romantic sentiments together, that should be the goal of not only your Valentine’s Day festivities, but for your relationship as a whole.
To avoid this: Let your Valentine’s Day efforts mirror what your daily actions towards your significant other. If you guys want to compete, then make it fun for you both…set limits on spending, and see who can be the most creative.
Reason Number Five: Celebrating Valentine's Day can show you that you can both do more to contribute to the success of your relationship.
Remember...Ultimately, Valentine’s Day does not exist, and therefore, it should not be a date that your relationship hinges on it should be a day that your relationship can acknowledge and continue to move forward as it does the other 364 days of the year.
To avoid this: Do all that you can to make your relationship great every day.
Ultimately, you and you significant other should strive for a Valetine's LIFE, not just a Valentine's DAY. Make every moment special and love as if each opportunity is your last. Whatever this day means to you...make it a great one!
Valentineless? Then get on the road to love success by visiting me, Coach Steph, at www.whatthelove.org