Does it ever feel like everyone's just waiting for you to find a boyfriend?
You normally hear me, Stefanie Safran, discussing dating. But today, I want to introduce you to Mandy Hale, the force behind "The Single Woman" in January 2010. She has an upcoming book that she wrote because of her story. Here, in her words:
I had just come out of an exponentially bad relationship of almost two years; one of those relationships that you completely lose yourself and your identity in, and finding your new place in the world after it's all over feels much like learning to acclimate to living on another planet.
I was 30 years old and beginning my life again. After alienating most of my friends while I was in the relationship because I didn't want to see the truth mirrored back at me about just how bad the partnership was, I was in desperate need of inspiration, a mentor or a BFF. I was ready to spread my wings and fly solo, to really celebrate my singleness. I was looking for other female voices out there representing the positive, inspirational, joyful side of single life.
Unfortunately, those voices were nowhere to be found. The bookstores offered hundreds of tomes celebrating love and marriage, parenthood and dating. There were books instructing you on how to date a man, land a man, keep a man; books detailing how to "get anyone to fall in love with you" or even "survive your single life," but not a word about celebrating your single life. Why was everyone treating it as the prologue to marriage instead of a wildly beautiful adventure all its own?
Since I had exhausted all my possibilities and still couldn't find the voice of hope for single women among all the voices of discouragement, I decided to become it.
I started a column, which soon led to The Single Woman Twitter page, which almost overnight began to pick up steam, which led to a Facebook page, which led to the creation of a website a year later, which led to an e-book, which led to my first published book, The Single Woman: Life, Love, & A Dash Of Sass. As of this moment, The Single Woman message reaches almost a million people across the world, every single day.
It seems I wasn't the only one looking for a voice. It seems a lot of you out there don't agree with the version of single life you're seeing portrayed in society and within pop culture.
Instead of "single and fabulous," the life of a single woman in her late 20s and beyond is all too often labeled "single and desperate." Instead of being viewed as a choice, being single seems to denote a lack of options. Everyone wants to meddle in the life of the woman who refuses to settle by setting her up on endless dates with guys she has no interest in, calling her "desperate," "lonely" or "too picky," or asking, "What's wrong with her?"
And that's exactly why I wrote this book. I wanted to propose that the question we should be asking is: "What's right with her?" The way I see it, the solitude, bravery and uncertain path of the modern-day single woman is something to be applauded as bold, courageous and unique — not considered sad, pathetic or weak. Because although I'd love to eventually have someone join me on my journey, I plan to celebrate my life for the party that it is... even if Prince Charming never RSVPs.
And this book is your invitation to join me in that celebration. To learn more, please go to www.thesinglewoman.net.
Mandy's story is one of many, but the difference is that she took action to change her life and share it with others! If you are looking for a summer read to help you get out of that dating rut, I recommend you check out Mandy's new book.
More single advice from YourTango:
- Newly Single? How To Make A Fresh Start
- How To Tell If A Guy Likes You
- Why You Shouldn't Sweat Being Single