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Admitting it is time to end a relationship is a challenging choice.
By Esther Bilbao
Last updated on Jan 23, 2024
Some people don't know when to leave a relationship or when to break up. Most of the time, they don't realize a relationship no longer makes them happy.
Almost all couples in a serious relationship will do anything and fight to make their relationship work.
There are obvious signs something is not OK, and you ignore them.
You might love your partner so much that you don’t want to lose him and deal with the separation process.
Yet, no matter how hard you try, your relationship doesn’t work, and you are hurting yourself.
Here are 5 undeniable signs it's finally time to end things:
1. There is more pain than happiness in your relationship
Your relationship should bring you happiness and inspiration. If your relationship brings you more pain and frustration, the person you are with might not be suitable for you.
You might be blinded by the happy moments you have shared with your partner in the past and tend to wash away the problems, frustration, and tears that your partner is causing you at present.
If you are unhappy most of the time, you might consider some changes. Don’t hold on to someone who doesn’t care about your happiness.
2. Your partner expects you to change
When your partner wants to change your bad habits, such as smoking, drinking, or procrastinating — this is a good thing. It means that your partner wants better things for you.
However, it is not good when your partner wants you to change so you will become another person and they are too controlling over you.
A leopard can't change its spots. You cannot change a person’s character and upbringing. Your partner should accept and respect who you are, your beliefs, and your values.
Letting your partner control who you are is not only toxic in your relationship but toxic to your well-being, as well.
RELATED: 6 Tiny Signs Your Marriage Has Expired, According To Experts
3. Your relationship won’t allow both of you to grow as individuals
You feel your relationship is suffocating, and you don’t have space or freedom to explore and grow. Settling down in a relationship doesn’t mean you put life on hold.
When your relationship requires you to give up on your personal goals, this will only lead you to become bored in your relationship and see your life as less interesting. Plus, you are missing the opportunities in your life.
If you have too many regrets or missed chances because the happiness of your partner comes first, you must ask if the relationship is worth your sacrifice.
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4. Your partner is hurting you emotionally, physically, or verbally
You should not allow anyone to hurt you physically, emotionally, or verbally. These types of abuse are a major no-no in any relationship. How can you tell if you are in an abusive relationship? Well, the fear of your partner is the most telling.
If you are always cautious of your actions and watchful of the words that are coming out of your mouth when you are around your partner because you are scared that you might anger them — then chances are you are in an abusive relationship.
No one should feel unsafe. If your partner is hurting you emotionally, physically, or verbally, it's toxic love. It’s time to think if your relationship is salvageable or if it’s time to cut the ties and leave the horrible situation.
Don’t be afraid to speak up and stand up to your partner about them being abusive.
5. When your partner is exerting little to no effort in the relationship
Ideally, relationships should be 50/50 — they should be balanced. However, there are times when you feel that you are giving more than your partner. Giving too much in a relationship is a good thing because you show your partner you care for them.
The problem arises when your partner does not reciprocate your efforts and leaves you in a one-sided relationship. Sometimes, the signs are clear you are in a one-sided relationship. But, admitting it to yourself and deciding what to do is challenging because you are of your love for your partner.
If you are in a one-sided relationship, you might consider getting out of it.
So, if you're wondering, "When is it time to break up?" these are the signs to pay attention to, and you should only consider them as guidelines.
Breaking up with someone you love is not an easy thing to do. We all have different situations in a relationship. You know your limitations and tolerance.
If you are unhappy with your relationship, discuss the problem with your partner. And if things still don't work out, let go, learn from it, and move on.
If you’re experiencing domestic abuse, you’re not alone.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline reports that approximately 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner in the U.S. More than 12 million women and men over the years have suffered from instances of domestic violence and abuse.
If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic abuse or violence, there are resources to get help.
There are ways to go about asking for help as safely as possible. For more information, resources, legal advice, and relevant links visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline. For anyone struggling with domestic abuse, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). If you’re unable to speak safely, text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474.
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Esther Bilbao helps mentor women to have better relationships, health, and personal development.