Tinder: Is It Time To Move On?

By

Tinder: Is It Time To Move On?
Have you wasted too much time swiping left and right? Is it time to move on with your life?

I used to host speed dating events. On any given night, forty to fifty people would show up hoping to meet someone amazing within the span of a four-minute date. It was kind of a strange idea at first— meeting twenty guys in one evening to see if anyone had potential. But it was efficient.

I sifted through more and more guys each week who weren't quite right, never really getting to know anybody past a cursory conversation about where he was from or what he did for a living. After a few months of this, it became not only exhausting, but routine. Instead of finding the right guy, I was becoming bored and distracted, wondering who else was out there.

Dating on Tinder reminds me of this. It's efficient like speed dating— you get to swipe left and right, rejecting anonymously and not having to spend even four minutes talking to someone you're not attracted to. You get to see a few photos and basic details and make your decision in seconds. Sounds perfect, right?

In terms of efficiency, yes. In terms of getting to a relationship, no. Let me explain.

I get the attraction of Tinder— it’s kind of addictive. You can be on a date with a perfectly nice person having a good time, but then as soon as it’s over you're back on Tinder, seeing who you might have missed.

And why not? Potential dates are just there, waiting.

But this is the problem. As I mention in my new book Date Expectations, dating isn't about checking all possible options. It's about being courageous and taking chances. It's about deepening your relationships with the people you meet, seeing where they could go, instead of perpetually moving on to the next. It's about stepping out of your comfort zone of scouring your phone for photos and really getting to know the person sitting in front of you. And here's the really scary part— allowing them to know you, too.

So before you login the next time, ask yourself what it is you really want. There's nothing wrong with hooking up and moving on, as long as you’re honest with yourself and your dates that this is your goal. But if you want a real relationship, then you have to be willing to put yourself out there, to see where a second or third date leads. How would you know if the person sitting in front of you might be the most amazing relationship of your life unless you just go for it?

And so Tinder, maybe it is time to move on.

More Dating Advice on YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Singles Warehouse

Author

The HOTTEST Singles Online Dating Site in the UK and USA. Free to sign up and browse the gorgeous variety of singles interested in meeting YOU, too.

Singles Warehouse is also home to some of the most honest, provocative, and insightful dating/relationship/sex writers in the world...and their a sexy little bunch, too! Check out the SWEXPERTS blog for the latest and greatest.

Twitter: @SingleWarehouse and @SWEXPERTS

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/singleswarehouse

Being single can be fun, but a little company never hurt, too. So, join today, engage with our writers, and be sure to follow us online.

Location: London, LND, United Kingdom
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Singles Warehouse:

To Hook Up or Not Hook Up

By

With more and more sites adding to the No Strings Attached culture it's easy to understand why hook up's are becoming more and more common. No matter what your moral feelings are it's happening. People just love sex. However when hooking up there are a few things you need to remember— Hook Up's Don't Always Equal Groundbreaking ... Read more

4 Smart Single Parent Dating Tips

By

It is quite understandable for single parents to be nervous about re-entering the dating scene but confidence is the key. We've gathered 4 common questions single parents have, and answered them with our 4 best Single Parent Dating tips in a bid to raise your confidence level.   1. I have a kid. Where do I go to meet people? By now you have ... Read more

6 Sex Positions Women Love and Hate

By

Sexual positions and a woman's enjoyment of them is based on a few key factors: size, position, and technique.  Let's face it...in some cases size does impact compatibility.  Therefore, to determine if you "fit" well together, you'll have to have sex and figure out what positions work best for you.  Even though a combination ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Stories we love
FROM AROUND THE WEB