As a dating coach, I often hear some version of this statement ~ “Just when I think I’ve found a good man, he disappears. I’ve given up on men. I’ve resigned myself to living alone.” My response? Don’t give up! There are definitely good men out there. So, why can’t you find one? Or if you found one, why can’t you hold onto him? You might be saying or doing something that’s killing his attraction (without even realizing it). And you might just benefit from a dating tune-up.
What’s a dating tune-up you ask? If you want your car to continue to run smoothly, you bring it in for scheduled tune-ups, right? How often are you doing the same for your dating? Do you take the time to reflect on what’s working and what’s not? Let’s take a step back and see what’s under the ‘hood’.
Three Things That Might Be Killing His Attraction
1. You’re overeager.
You’ve met a guy with great potential. It’s been such a long time since you’ve dated anyone who is articulate, kind, physically fit, smart, and funny, that you’re excited beyond belief. You want to talk to him every day. You want to text him in the morning, during work, and whisper sweet nothing to him over the phone before bed. You ‘friend’ him on Facebook. You can’t wait to get the relationship going. SLOW DOWN! If you are too enthusiastic and come on too strong, chances are he’ll perceive that as neediness and run the other way. Take a breath. If he’s a quality guy, you’ll want to take your time getting to know him. If you rush the relationship, you’ll run the risk of losing him. Good men are worth the wait. Savor the process. Anxiety is a relationship killer. Independence is sexy. Show him that you have a full life without him and sit back. Let him chase you!
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