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There are some people that just seem to be chronically getting into toxic, harmful and self-destructive relationships. It is easy to assume it is always the guys’ fault, but at a much more fundamental level women that constantly choose the wrong partner may be actively seeking these types of relationships on a conscious or subconscious level.
Level 1: Genetics and Hardwiring
Research indicates that there are many different factors that come into choosing a mate. There are biological and genetic factors that are hardwired into our brains that help with selection of the mate that is the biggest, strongest and fastest. This is sort of like our instinctual choice in a mate based on physical as well as personality traits.
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Most researchers believe that this instinctual drive for a mate is based on a combination of the entire human evolution combined with the next level of selection, which is at subconscious level. You cannot change what you find attractive physically, but you can choose to select a mate based on different attributes if you are aware of what you using as a criteria.
Level 2: Subconscious Factors
Combined with hardwired factors that we can’t change is the subconscious mind’s influence on what is attractive. The subconscious element is determined and molded by our experiences in the world, how we experienced men in our development and family, and what is comfortable on a relationship level.
In many cases a woman that has an abusive, alcoholic, addicted or emotionally absent father will be subconsciously looking for these types of familiar traits. The bad boy image is going to be attractive and one she may be drawn to again and again despite the emotional and even physical danger this relationship may pose.